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A party favor . . . to ask

December 11, 2011

"Let's not forget the reason for the season. Presents." Koala Hugs, 1981-Angie

If you are anything like 1981-Angie and are all about the presents, Christmas morning can’t come fast enough. 

Well, you’re in luck.  Because in the meantime, I have yet another birthday party grab bag to offer you — that of course being a brown paper bag filled with random (possibly used) trinkets that bear no theme and that you get to take home with you. 

Then, in return, I have a favor to ask of you.  I’ll wait until the end of this.  My plan is that after I give you your grab bag, you’ll be so grateful, so pleased with your trinkets, that you’ll be willing to do anything for me. 

[Insert evil laugh that sounds like Bernie Madoff watching Big Momma’s House 3.]   

***

First, here is your birthday party grab bag.

Back by popular demand, I present a little weekly/bimonthly/annually/whenever-I-damn-well-feel-like-it segment I like to call . . .

DYNOMITE!

Each week/month/year/Just this last time so you’ll get off my back I will present a throwback picture from the 70s, 80s or 90s of someone exhibiting their Fashion A-Game.

Today I’m featuring Lindsay.  Lindsay sent me this photo.

This has really set the bar high.  I give the ensemble a solid A.  In all of my life, I’ve never seen an outfit that’s been color-coordinated so beautifully.  Black-red-black-red-black-white.  Perfect.  And the scrunchie brings it all home.  I wouldn’t expect anything less from a scrunchie. 

Lindsay is correct in thinking that before leading off her dance routine set to Let’s Hear It for the Boy, she needs to first stretch out so as to avoid pulling a hammy in that tricky grand finale:  Roger Rabbit-Roger Rabbit-Shopping Cart-Roger Rabbit-Shopping Cart-Cabbage Patch-Centipede.  [Spotlight dims.]  Jazz Hands.  

Why is Lindsay stretching on a balcony?  Why in an Italian villa?  I wanted to know these answers, too.  I wanted to ask her.  But I got sidetracked by her striking resemblance to one of my favorite 1980s sitcom characters.

Oh, you probably know exactly who I’m thinking of because you were just about to say the same thing, weren’t you.  Oh, who was that?  You know!  Her!  That one girl!  Yes, her!

Josie Davis?  Bingo.

The adorable sister with the ponytail.  No, definitely not the slutty one who became the Baywatch chick.  No, the sweet one with the ponytail.

Charles in Charge?

Scott Baio?

Chachi?  

What were we talking about again? 

Oh, yes — scrunchies.  Love them.

***

Also in your grab bag, you’ll find a handful of Circus Peanuts.  These may or may not have been recently discovered in the back of my pantry next to a box of rancid corn meal that I bought for a complicated recipe that never came to fruition.

I put these in here especially for my BBFF, Speaker7.  She can’t get enough of Circus Peanuts.  Often, she eats so many she ends up puking them up in the back of her mom’s station wagon.  

***

Favor time.  I happen to be a finalist in The Good Greatsby’s biweekly photo caption contest.  I want to win. 

This is where you come in.  You can vote every day.  For me.  Every day.  Just click here and then scroll down and click on Angie Z.  I want to win.  Did I mention I want to win?

I won’t pretend that my caption is the best one.  In fact, it isn’t.  In fact, caption contests are not my forte.  In fact, using words correctly is also not my forte but I checked and “forte” in fact means something in which a person excels, as well as the strong part of the sword blade.  In fact, I’m neither of those.   

In addition, Darla, one of my blogger buddies, is also a caption contest finalist.  I suppose I wouldn’t mind her winning.  I suppose you could vote for her.  Her caption entry is much better.  But that’s not the point.

I propose making this a popularity contest.  Who cares about recognizing those who deserve to win.

Although, I most certainly do. 

Because most of my life I’ve felt like unpopular-Molly-Ringwald-as-Samantha. 

And just once I want to be popular-Molly-Ringwald-as-Claire.

Can you help?  Yes you can.  Set your task reminder and vote every day.  Every day, all of this week.  The contest closes this Saturday at midnight.

I hope you’ll come through for me.  I hope you won’t forget.  I hope you’ll remember this while you’re off enjoying your Circus Peanuts.  Would it help if I tossed in a scrunchie?  Of course it would.  1981-Angie even said so.

25 Comments leave one →
  1. December 11, 2011 5:19 pm

    You’ve got my votes, every last one of them. Sight unseen.

    • December 12, 2011 8:16 pm

      Lisa, you are a true blog friend. Thank you! If I win, I’ll try to figure out that Edward Burns thing for you. (If I lose, you’ll have to settle for Scott Baio.)

      • December 13, 2011 10:13 pm

        You’re in the lead, Angie, put on your thinking cap/

      • December 14, 2011 7:16 pm

        Thanks, Lisa! Let’s see, what if Christy Turlington were to be sent on a North Face modeling assignment in Antarctica for a couple of years…

  2. December 11, 2011 6:53 pm

    I understand the pain one feels when one’s captions are not recognized. I used to do those New Yorker caption contest and never got any love and felt infuriated when something lame was chosen instead.

    I will totally vote for your caption and not because you’re my BBFF, but because you deserve to live the life of Claire.

    • December 12, 2011 8:42 pm

      I’m sure your denied submissions were just so good they didn’t know what to do with them. Especially if they were anything like, “Look you still make me sick. But can I use your horrible deformity to my advantage?” – Santa Claus

  3. Davis permalink
    December 12, 2011 7:24 am

    OK, I voted for you, even though the best caption was submitted by “flippingchannels.”
    As you pointed out, it’s a popularity contest and you’re the only one of the submitters I know, although I’d like know Flipping, as he/she is obviously a fun person, too. (Please notice the “too.)

    • December 12, 2011 8:23 pm

      That is a good one! Thanks for voting for me despite that ;)

      Related to that caption, you should hear this from one of my favorite authors, David Sedaris. Maybe you’ve read it before? Here it is being read by Sedaris, which is really the way you need to experience it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCUHTDrca4s

  4. December 12, 2011 9:04 am

    We voted because you are funny!

    That picture of Lindsay looks exactly like my little sister at that age. Blonde side ponytail and scrunchy socks. Too cute!

    • December 12, 2011 8:35 pm

      Thanks, Gilly! Your sister must’ve been quite stylish. I forgot about scrunchy socks. Scrunchies in your hair, scrunchies on your ankles. Ah, what a simpler world it was when we had time to cinch and scrunch and roll.

  5. December 12, 2011 11:29 am

    Love the ‘dynomite’ picture. Scrunchies rule. l am still searching for the one of my husband circa 1977. It is hysterical! (and something he’d hate anyone else to see, so don’t tell him okay?)

    I voted for you. I’ll vote for you every day. I think Paul puts mine up there mainly so it will be easier for other people to vote for someone else’s caption. I am currently in dead last. Again. Doesn’t he know no one find’s Santa’s balls in the slightest bit funny? (by the way, I have always been the Samantha-Molly, but I don’t mind if you win, sniff, sniff)

    • December 12, 2011 8:53 pm

      Oh, no — you are mistaken, Darla. Everyone would love a good joke about Santa’s balls. I just now asked my husband which caption he would vote for if he had no bias and he said yours. Yours! Are you sure you want to throw your votes away on my greedy thirst for power and world domination?

      If you are Samantha-Molly, I’m Andie-Molly, which was a way more pathetic character and lacked the pluck and endearing sarcasm of Samantha-Molly.

      Just what exactly is your husband wearing in this photo — please let it be a polyester plaid leisure suit. Please, please, please.

      • December 13, 2011 6:53 am

        Your husband has extremely good taste.

        I just checked the stats and I have broken a record for the lowest percentage of votes ever in the history of Paul’s contest. Yay! GO, ME!!!! I’m at 4 percent now and hoping to hit zero in the next few days.

        I do think polyester is involved in some way, shape or form in my husband’s photo…stay tuned…

      • December 13, 2011 10:13 pm

        Why can we edit people’s comments? Just wondering. I was about to edit your comment to say, “Wait until I start my own get-out-the-vote campaign. You’re going down, Angie. I’m gonna make you eat dirt.”

        Where is Mr. Skittles in all of this? Can’t he vote?

      • December 15, 2011 12:34 pm

        hehe! Oh, Mr. Skittles? He kept ransacking my pantry and tearing apart the house. I couldn’t handle him anymore. He made my kids look like absolute angels. I shipped him overnight express to China for Mr. Greatsby as a Christmas present.

      • December 16, 2011 4:46 pm

        What do you give to the man who has everything? Well a monkey named Mr. Skittles of course. I’m sure your house is pretty quiet now.

  6. December 12, 2011 5:29 pm

    Angie, great blog. You’re crushing the contest. And my wife eats those fu*king peanuts too, although calling them “peanuts” is like calling Newt Gingrich “trustworthy”. And what the hell’s Scott B.doing now, anyway.
    Les

    • December 12, 2011 8:29 pm

      Thanks, Les! I haven’t heard anything about Scott Baio for a half of a century. I suspect he now looks something like a Circus Peanut.

  7. December 13, 2011 8:35 pm

    How do you come up with this stuff???????

    Ummm, I just nominated you for the 7×7 Link Award — but didn’t tell you what to do to accept it. Oops. Revisit this spot (or my blog) cause I will have to tell you what to do. Or, you being the wiseass you are, you can probably figure it out…

    But I love your blog, and had to do it to you!

    • December 13, 2011 10:18 pm

      My secret weapon is I was raised by the Keatons, the Cleavers and the Huxtables, which helped form the region in my brain that creates blog posts.

      I haven’t heard of that award (because, I have so, so, so many awards I can’t keep track of them all ;)) — oddly enough, my maiden name was Link so it apparently was made for me. Thanks, Elyse — I’ll check it out.

  8. December 15, 2011 1:25 am

    Voted! And you’re kicking butt girl. :)

  9. December 18, 2011 3:50 am

    Haha. No wonder you are kicking my butt in the caption comp. I threatened harm on some astronauts if votes were not forthcoming but you upped the ante with the promise of a scrunchie to those that assisted you.

    Hmm, I wonder if it is not too late to offer voters the promise of a Teen Wolf II cap …

    • December 18, 2011 6:12 am

      One cannot underestimate the power of the scrunchie. I’m personally afraid of them and have vowed never to doubt or taunt them.

      Heehee. A Teen Wolf sequel cap could fetch you quite a few votes. Too bad the voting has closed now or you’d really have a leg up on me. Anything featuring Jason Bateman with facial hair has a high street market value.

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