Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Let me start by clarifying.
I’d much rather blog about Nacho Cheese Flavored Corn Nuts.
Now there is a guilty pleasure that merits a blog post.
I don’t really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I’ll eat them. But I wouldn’t go so far as to attempt to take over the world in their name.
Because I like to be liked.
Does that make me unlikable?
And when you get a call from the Bat-Phone and when you see the call is from The Queen of Quips (aka Peg of the blog Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings) and when you find out she is asking you to join her impressive team of bloggers to Take Over the WordPress World, and that by Taking Over the WordPress World she means you have to write a blog post about Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups — well, let’s just say you don’t waste time making a case for Corn Nuts.
Besides, this blog post is the opportunity of a lifetime — it’s about being a part of something bigger than myself.
I feel like I’ve arrived. I even told Peg, “I feel like I’ve arrived.”
I told her, wow, this is just like when the cool girls called me up in junior high to tell me that Wednesday is Short Skirt Day.
And then — P.S. Don’t forget to wear your LA Gear high-top shoes.
And then — P.P.S. Be sure you put in the pink shoelaces so we can color-coordinate.
And then — P.P.P.S. Be sure you lace them over-under and not under-over.
And then — P.P.P.P.S. Isn’t this Jenny? Oops, we thought we’d dialed Jenny.
And then — P.P.P.P.P. S. Never mind, Angie.
Yes, just like that but better. More Happily-Ever-After and less I-Hate-My-Life.
In conclusion, I don’t like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. But you probably do. I hope you like me.
While I’m being honest, I also don’t like the movie Grease. There, I said it.
I would go so far as to say I hate the movie Grease.
I would go so far as to say I hate when someone asks if I like the movie Grease.
Because after I say I don’t like the movie Grease, I’ll immediately sense distance between me and the person who asked me if I like the movie Grease.
This is why I never joined a sorority.
At some point, I would’ve been asked the question.
Do you like the movie Grease?
Actually, no one would’ve asked me that in a sorority. They’d assume it.
And then it’d be Homecoming Week, and I’d be asked to wear a shiny pink jacket and lip-sync to We Go Together. And then I’d pretty much blow my brains out with my finger on the spot. But then I’d go on stage anyway with my brains all blown out. Because I’d want them to like me. And then I’d forget the words to the song because I never knew them to begin with. And then we’d lose the lip-sync contest to the Chi Omegas. Again. And it’d be my fault. And then they’d unlike me. And then I’d be kicked out of the sorority house. And then I’d have go back to my life in the dorms with the bedbugs and the black-and-white TV sets and with the curry smell that always drifts down through the vents from the international student floor and then mixes with the smell of social mediocrity. Not that I hadn’t already become accustomed to this scent anyway, you know, before I joined a sorority. Not that I ever joined a sorority.
This is cathartic.
I also don’t like Grey’s Anatomy or any of the Mc-eemies. And I don’t especially like newborn babies. (Except mine, though I don’t like to be reminded that they ever looked like newborn babies.) And I don’t like Rachel Ray or tiny dogs that fit into purses. And I especially don’t like bachelorette parties. No, really. I’ll hide in the closet when the male strippers show up, and I’ll break into a cold sweat if we happen upon a karaoke bar.
But I do like Leave It to Beaver marathons. And I do like the ’70s Sesame Street video where they show how to make saxophones. And I do like singing Take on Me while doing the Molly Ringwald Dance. But only while sitting alone in my car at night and only until I get to a stoplight.
Oh, and I also like Nacho Cheese Flavored Corn Nuts. Did I mention that? And I also like childhood nostalgia. No, I take that back . . .
I love childhood nostalgia. But you probably knew that.
So, on that note, here below is my teeny contribution to Taking Over the WordPress World today. It may not change the world, but even I can’t deny it — it changed chocolate and peanut butter. Forever. You might say, they became something bigger than themselves. And I like that.
P.S. And I hope you still like me.
On this historic day otherwise known as Wednesday, 19 of your favorite humor bloggers are staging a WordPress coup. We have banded together to address the important topic, Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Yes, you read that right. Your eyes are fine. Well, they may not be fine — I really don’t know. But it does say “19 of your favorite humor bloggers” (or who SHOULD be your favorite bloggers). We are all presenting the same topic, each from his or her particularly unique perspective.
Why this topic? Why now?
Click on the Reese’s Pieces links to gobble up the entire, yummy bag of 19 posts.