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April 21, 2012

Bully McMully, wherever you are, it was your loss. You missed out on playing Worm Circus and Drug Dealers with one of the coolest people I know. If by “coolest” you mean a person who writes a rad blog, if not the raddest, and draws a mean turd.


Bully McMully is dead.

That’s not his name. His name has been changed to protect the living–mainly me. His name was something that didn’t rhyme, but we changed it so that it did. We thought it was clever, the “we” being me, my brother J and my two cousins K1 and K2.

Bully McMully had a strong presence in our lives in the late 1970s. If I was anything like Angie Z, I could tell you a blow-by-blow account of our dealings with Bully McMully and provide photographic evidence, but my memory is just a giant sinkhole of bits and pieces of things I likely made up or saw on after-school specials, and should not be trusted. It took a lot of therapy to realize I had not grown up in a little house on a prairie. The only way I know for certain that Bully McMully existed is…

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. April 21, 2012 10:43 am

    I went, and I read, and I remininsced. Thanks for reblogging.

    • April 21, 2012 2:46 pm

      Speaker7 is a swell kid and I don’t like to hear about her getting beat up. Not by Bully McMully and not by the hamsters who live in WordPress who are currently not allowing her posts to come through the blog reader. Thanks for heading over to read, Lenore. You’re a swell kid yourself.

  2. April 21, 2012 10:57 am

    Wow! The memories! Bully McBully lived in your town, too????

    • April 21, 2012 2:46 pm

      I think Bully McMully and his cousins Bully McNully and Bully McBully live in just about every town. Unfortunately for us all.

  3. April 21, 2012 12:05 pm

    You are the most amazing BBFF and such the anti-Bully McMully. You’re like the wind beneath my poorly constructed flying contraption, which is basically three turkey feathers glued to each elbow. I wish I could return the favor like destroy all elephant peanuts in existence. I’ll get a start at the 12 or so dollar stores in my hometown and work from there.

    • April 21, 2012 2:52 pm

      It was nothing, really. The tale of Bully McMully already earned a special place on my blog and in my heart.

      Now, about those circus peanuts…you know don’t you that they won’t burn? Well, they will burn but they are able to extinguish themselves due to a protective silicone coating. So I just want to prepare you for that before you go into battle.

  4. April 21, 2012 3:01 pm

    You could dump the peanuts in the landfill, but don’t let the EPA catch you – there are some major fines for that shiz.

    Checked out Ms. Speaker and had some serious giggles, if that isn’t too much of an oxymoron.

    • April 24, 2012 11:31 am

      Speaker7 is a regular laugh riot. I hope you’ll check her out again. You won’t be sorry.

      Now, off to the town landfill to finish up my spring cleaning…

  5. April 21, 2012 8:01 pm

    Hmmmm…. you’ve got me thinking about my own past a little (like I don’t do that already LOL) I sometimes wonder what happened to the pricks, sorry, nice people at school who gave me such a hard time. I see some of them as suggested friends on Facebook and, frankly, I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

    I know it’s wrong. But I also know that if I were ever stupid enough to go to a high school reunion, there would be a fight and blood would be spilt, and I probably wouldn’t care if it was mine or theirs.

    *sigh* There. I’ve said it. Hope this doesn’t paint me as a homicidal maniac bent on revenge… I don’t think about it much and I highly doubt I would ever waste that much energy on their pitiful souls. But I cannot forgive until I forget and I believe that, one way or another, the universe will set itself right.

    • April 24, 2012 11:35 am

      No need to assure that you’re not a homicidal maniac. I think we all have some benign demons in our heads, thanks to our formative years. Growing up was hard work! Let my blog be the proof of this. And we sure didn’t make it any easier on each other. Considering all the bullying, name-calling and nastiness, it’s really a wonder we didn’t all deflate into a glob of zit cream.

  6. April 24, 2012 11:51 am

    I already danced on this guy’s grave once but I’ll do it again for S7

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