Scarves and The Band Uniform Rule
Two weeks ago I asked readers to submit old photos for entry in my weekly/monthly/whenever-I-feel-like-it Dynomite! competition — photos from the ’70s, ’80s or ’90s that depict you putting your best fashion foot forward.
I promised that accepted entries would be published on my blog and later would compete in a Dynomite! All-Stars competition like this one here.
Well, I was astounded — astounded! — by the response. So many emails, so many photos. So much self-loathing you could cut it with a butterfly collar.
What will I do with these? I must get to work.
Today’s Dynomite! contest entry comes from Cathie of the blog Chatty Cathie’s Endless Chatter (here). Oh, she’s chatty alright. But she’s also Dynomite!
And she can french braid hair, so you’ll definitely want her in your corner of the bus:
Crunchy asymmetrical bangs, diner waitress eyeshadow, and a scarf that brings it all home. Yes, she’s got it all and a bag of hairpins. (If she’s any good at french braiding, she won’t need those.)
But let’s get back to that scarf. Because that scarf reminded me of a wonderful moment I had forgotten all about.
When I was in junior high, I took a special shopping trip to the mall. It was the day before Christmas. And I needed a gift for my mom. So I stopped at a kiosk to watch a video demo on the new must-have fashion item of 1988. A scarf clip. Look no further for the perfect gift, my shopping was done.
A saw on the video that you could also snazz up your wardrobe by turning scarves into exciting new configurations — whether worn as a train robber’s mask, a Superman cape, a Webelo uniform, a sari or a Mexican blanket (see left). The video was extremely well done and, frankly, after seeing it I wondered how any of us ever got by without scarves in the first place.
Although Cathie is not donning a scarf clip, I’m certain she saw the same video I did:
Cathie’s photo also reminded me of a great rule of thumb in dressing fabulous.
I like to call it The Band Uniform Rule.
Who wants to spend your mornings fretting about clothing ensembles? Who wants to worry about what shoes to wear, what trends to follow, what colors make you look old and whether stripes should ever high-five with plaid (here)?
Learn this tip and you will never again suffer through getting dressed in the morning.
Ready for this? Okay.
1.) Put your clothes on and stand in front of a mirror.
You got that?
2.) Now visualize a person in a band uniform right next to you.
Are you still with me?
3.) If the person in the band uniform looks better than you, then go change your clothes — immediately.
4.) Throw the clothes in a dumpster, pour lighter fluid on them and torch them.
Thank you, Cathie, for your photo submission and for reminding me of The Band Uniform Rule — a valuable lesson in looking your most Dynomite!
Okay, pop quiz time! To test you on your understanding of The Band Uniform Rule, I’m going to close with some examples from The Marcia Archives.
Torch or Wear?