What the . . . Friday?
*Pssst. In case you didn’t catch me last Friday, What the…Friday? is a new weekly feature I’m offering every Friday (yes, Friday!) in which I will resuscitate a video relic from the swampy pits of Pop Culture Wasteland.*
What started out as a mission to prove to my husband that Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson were once married (!) — ended up here. Win, Lose or Draw.
I often mourn the passing of the Golden Age of Game Shows. But I don’t mourn the loss of this show.
Okay, I loved the show. I watched it daily. And I loved to draw. I was good at drawing. So Win, Lose or Draw played right to my belief that The (Art) Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth.
And then, who didn’t love seeing Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise make-out?
In retrospect, what I see now is a show that I didn’t like after all. Because it made me uncomfortable. Tampons falling onto the floor in the middle of a the grocery store checkout lane when you’re grabbing for your checkbook uncomfortable.
Because Win, Lose or Draw followed the same wretched formula of a few other Golden Age game shows, like Super Password and $10,000 Pyramid and Hollywood Squares. You take some celebrities (I use the term losely) and then you throw in some regular Joes trying to win regular money. Which always seemed to be insulting to the regular Joes because the celebrities didn’t need to win money. They were just there for
self-promotion social masturbation fun.
And then the celebrities had to pretend that they actually gave a hoot about the regular Joes. And they also had to pretend to be excited about the fact that a regular Joe just won $3,000, which would’ve barely covered a celebrity’s Burbank hotel expense.
Win, Lose or Draw was the worst offender of this Golden Age formula.
Because Win, Lose or Draw actually sandwiched the regular Joes on a dumpy fraternity house couch right in between the celebrities. And then the celebrities were in manic performance mode and yukking it up with their BFFs. And inside jokes were made and couch pillows were flung and Betty White pinched Dom DeLuise’s butt and uproarious laughter ensued and all the while I felt so completely awkward watching the regular Joes who just sort of sat there with strained smiles, pretending they were in on it all, but they weren’t really in on it all. At all.
(Did you notice that Win, Lose or Draw sounds like it contains the word “loser”? This was intentional.)
So Win, Lose or Draw was sort of like in junior high school when you’d sit at the cool kids’ table for just one day. Because the cool kids decided it was Be Nice to a (Art) Geek Day and, sure, you could join them for tater tot casserole, but all the while they’d be yukking it up about their boy-girl parties and New Kids on the Block concerts and things you didn’t understand or know about and then you’d smile and laugh uncomfortably like, yeah, I’m in on this too, I’m just one of them. I don’t have any clue what’s going on here, I don’t know what a “spin the bottle” is but, yeah, I’m certain I’m just one of them.
But who the hell are you kidding? You weren’t. And you’d never be. And Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson can suck it.
What the Friday was I even talking about?
Oh, yes, Win, Lose or Draw. Loved it.