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Father’s Day Gifts for My Favorite TV Dads

June 11, 2012

Like a lot of people, next Sunday I’ll be honoring my dear ol’ dad – perhaps in the form of a Home Depot gift card.  Because nothing says “thank you for life, love and shelter” like new electrical outlet covers.

But being that I was partially raised by a 1981 television set, I can’t forget to pay tribute to the other dads in my life — my TV dads.  So the question is, what do you get for the men who have everything?  Boisterous laugh tracks?   Top Nielsen ratings?  A chance to appear on Hollywood Squares?  Here are a few more tangible items:

1)      Fred Sanford, Sandord & Sons — a storage shed.  You need to face your illness, Dad.  You’re a hoarder.  And you’re a cantankerous old fart who’s managed to survive 2,384 heart attacks.  Your health is obviously fragile so let’s pack away some of this rat-infested junk before the rotavirus strikes.

2)      Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show — a pocket knife.  Whether whittling a stick or gutting a fish, a slaw-jawed Mayberry man would never go far without one.  And you never know when you’ll need it to defend yourself against a deranged, trigger-happy Deputy.

3)      Dr. Huxtable, The Cosby Show — a sweater.  I immensely enjoyed your fatherly advice, Dad, but if you really loved me you’d bring back Jell-O pudding pops.  Can you do that?  Can you?  Please?  Pudding pops aside, I’m sure you’ll never bring back those sweaters.  Your personal version of a stamp collection, those rainbow monstrosities will only ever deplete in value.

4)      Tony Micelli, Who’s the Boss — a Roomba.  You showed me that dads could be hands-on and sensitive while looking manly in an apron.  Now sit down, kick off your shoes and kick back with a beer.  Angela will never find out because we’ll just keep this secret between you, me and the autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner.

5)      Fred Flinstone, The Flintstones — a gift card to The Hard Rock Cafe.  Only the purest form of fatherly love could turn a belligerent loud-mouth into a big-hearted mushhead — remarkable when considering most Neanderthal fathers tried to eat their young.  Now let’s stop-up that big mouth of yours with a big tasty bronto burger.

6)      Ward Cleaver, Leave it to Beaver — a necktie.   In most ways, you embodied the stereotypical 1950s dad.  But despite Beaver’s worries that you’d give him the business, the business never went further than a calm, firm talking-to.  Amazing composure for a Cold War parent!  A new tie will have you looking sharp as you head to the office, leaving June to do whatever it is she does with her day.

7)      Charles Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie — a Tetanus shot.  It must’ve been hard doing all that tough pioneering stuff while Lockjaw lurked around every corner.  For you I offer just a poke of the skin and some healthy peace of mind.  The gift of life is on me this time, Pa.

8)      Dr. Seaver, Growing Pains — a free psychoanalytic session.  Dad, you’re in your head too much.  You over-analyze everything.  Why, right now you’re probably worrying about your son hanging out with a kid named Boner.  And you should.  But let’s probe further.  Relax, settle back on the couch, and let’s take this from the beginning.  It’s your turn now.

9)  Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch — a man cave.  Seriously, you’re caring for six kids!   Six kids, an obnoxious nephew, a dog with fleas and a cat in hiding since episode one.  And then there’s all the madness of class president campaigns, celebrity pop-ins, vacations from hell, pilgrim film reenactments, exploding volcano science projects.  Need I continue?  You need a place to hole up, away from the crazies.  Alice has a man cave.  Now you’ll have yours too.

10)      Steven Keaton, Family Ties — a vacation to Colorado.  You frolicked with the flower children at Woodstock — and then you went and procreated yourself a Nixon-worshiping Republican.  I don’t know how you cope with the irony.  You deserve a special excursion, a medicinal one.  While away, tell a doctor about your “back injury” (wink, wink).  Remember that the rest and relaxation must end when you reach airport security.

255 Comments leave one →
  1. June 11, 2012 8:47 am

    I wonder if Hallmark makes Father’s Day cards for TV dads…

    Great post :)

    • June 11, 2012 8:12 pm

      If Hallmark can make “thinking of you” cards for dogs whose owners have divorced, then it makes no sense to me that they wouldn’t make Father’s Day cards for TV dads. Frankly, it’d be unAmerican if they didn’t.

      • June 11, 2012 8:17 pm

        Are you serious? They have cards for dogs whose owners have divorced? Is the card for the dog because it comes from a broken home or for the dog to give to his owners?

      • June 11, 2012 9:49 pm

        Now I can’t actually confirm they make those cards — but I’m willing to bet money on it. If by “money” you mean, tootsie rolls.

  2. June 11, 2012 8:47 am

    One of your best, Angie. This is fantabulis and magnunderful!
    I watched Sanford and Son the other night, and laughed so many times. What a fantastic show that was! Scatman Crothers was a guest star. Oh how I loved that man!
    And ‘Who’s the boss?’ Did you see Judith Light on TV last night? Holy smokes, she looks the exact same!! Rob was sitting next to me at the time, and he said in his best Tony voice, “Yo. Who’s the Boss will return in a moment.” Hilarious!!

    Fred Flinstone… Hard Rock Cafe…. BRILLIANT!!

    • June 11, 2012 9:55 pm

      Oh, Lenore — I don’t know whether to pay you or adopt you but your comments always make my day, whether they’re including words like “brilliant” and “magnunderful” or unjustly bashing on me for omitting John Denver from a Muppet Show post.

      I completely forgot that Scatman Crothers was on there — A.K.A. the only adult on The Shining who wasn’t creepy.

      We 86’d the cable TV several years ago, but now that I know Judith Light has returned to television I may have to rethink that decision.

  3. June 11, 2012 9:07 am

    I was a little dissapointed that I didn’t see any hammers on the gift list, but I still loved the post. I think you may have stumbled on to a significant social trend here – where are all of the dads? Do we have TV dads in 2012? Most of the men on TV seem to be at weight loss camps, figuring out how to make fire, drinking chardonay with an awesome and amazing bachelorette, or avoiding a teen mom. No wonder we are in such dire straits – we need dads!

    • June 11, 2012 10:00 pm

      If you give a dad a hammer…c’mon, I know what kind of mess that leads to after viewing your post. Never again will I give a dad a hammer. ;)

      I’m like the reverse of you circa 1972 — I have no idea what is on regular television today. I watch everything on Netflix about three to five years after it originally ran on television. Now who’s the one with a librarian mother?

  4. June 11, 2012 9:30 am

    (((Giggles))) Perfect! :-)

  5. June 11, 2012 9:44 am

    Jell-O pudding pops! OMG I loved those! I would totally give Cosby a load of sweaters if he’d bring those suckers back.

    • June 11, 2012 9:49 am

      Ha! I was just going to say that! Are they REALLY gone? Why would they EVER take those away from us?? Isn’t it bad enough we have to live without The Cosby Show?!

      • June 11, 2012 10:04 pm

        Pudding pops were the ultimate guilty pleasure — I think they might even beat out chipmunks (shhhhhhh, they can hear us talking).

        Corrected your leave/live because that’s how much I like you.

    • June 11, 2012 10:02 pm

      I still recall what grocery stores sold banana flavored pudding pops — they were like searching for the holy grail because most stores only sold vanilla, chocolate or swirl. I’d go to a store with my mom and deflate when I saw there was no banana. What a fool I was! Never could I imagine they’d one day be completely gone.

      • June 12, 2012 9:36 am

        Ok, what’s really funny about that was that in my hometown? The only ones they sold were the banana. I liked it well enough, but I would move heaven and earth for those swirl pops. Those required a trip to the grocery store in the “big city” about 10 miles away. Ah, rural Iowa. I wish I could say I miss you, but…

      • June 12, 2012 6:52 pm

        That’s got to be made up — stores that only sold banana? That sounds like someone telling me they owned 400 kittens. I can’t even imagine a world that beautiful.

        I was in rural Nebraska — same difference, right?

  6. June 11, 2012 9:52 am

    This post is HI.Larious, Angie! The Roomba really cracked me up. I would like to add Danny Tanner to the list, and give him a girlfriend with a hoarding problem (not unlike Fren Sanford). Just to see what he would do. But I want it to be where, like, she’s totally perfect in every way, he falls in love, and THEN he sees her house.

    • June 11, 2012 10:08 pm

      I don’t know about that Danny Tanner guy but I can’t even look at Bob Saget without wanting to yak.

  7. csgomez79 permalink
    June 11, 2012 9:59 am

    Love it! Especially the vacation to Colorado part. You know you’re on the map when you’re mentioned in a Childhood Relived post.

    • June 11, 2012 10:10 pm

      Thanks — I just got back from Colorado last month. Good times (that did not include illegal activity).

      • csgomez79 permalink
        June 13, 2012 10:44 am

        Hahaha! Are you referring to medicinal marijuana? I was going to ask if you were a fire-starter, but they’ve already outed lightning as the culprit. I always read your posts when they appear in my mailbox. It’s like Christmas morning every Friday.

      • June 14, 2012 8:51 pm

        Aw, thanks! I have a doozy of a video for you tomorrow. I think my exact words when I saw it were — “Make it stop!”

        Is Colorado having fires? The dryness when we were there was rather disturbing.

      • csgomez79 permalink
        June 14, 2012 10:25 pm

        We are having one of the biggest fires in Colorado history right now. It was started by lightning in the mountains about 30 miles West from where I live. It is only 5 miles from the Colorado State University campus. Very scary.

      • June 17, 2012 7:20 pm

        So sorry to hear that. I’m rather out of touch with the news, clearly. Very scary. I have a lot of friends in Colorado.

  8. June 11, 2012 10:01 am

    This was perfection. Pudding pops! Boner! Charles Ingalls!

    This has Freshly Pressed written all over it.

    P.S. I think Sanford and Sons has the best theme song ever.

    • June 11, 2012 11:32 am

      Totally agree about FP and Sanford and Son. The S&S theme always sounds like the theme music to the Maisy Mouse cartoon.

      • June 11, 2012 10:26 pm

        I haven’t seen that cartoon — what is wrong with me, I have two small children and I’ve never watched the cartoon version of Sanford and Son!

        Seriously, I have the books though so I can only imagine how perfect that theme song would accompany her and her completely mundane activities.

    • June 11, 2012 10:14 pm

      Oh, Darla — you don’t have my psychic abilities for predicting Freshly Pressed. You shouldn’t try to dabble in that realm, it makes the spirits angry — just leave the psychic predictions to me.

      Magic 8 Ball: “My Sources Say No.” Damnit.

      P.S. Best theme song ever indeed. Impossible not to laugh when I hear it or anyone trying to imitate it.

      • June 12, 2012 6:16 am

        You know what would really help you get Freshly Pressed? if they changed the line-up that’s been up there since the Nixon administration.

      • June 12, 2012 1:12 pm

        From your mouth to the WordPRess gods’ ears, Darla!

      • June 12, 2012 6:12 pm

        Darla is unbelievable.

      • June 12, 2012 1:19 pm

        Uh, yes she DOES!

      • June 12, 2012 1:25 pm

        Well, well, well! What do we have here? Hmm?? Yes, indeedee, I do believe I called it THIS time around, Miss Angie Z. Oh yes. Your Magic 8 ball is defective.

        [doing the running man dance/cabbage patch/jitterbug]

      • June 12, 2012 6:20 pm

        Holy Psychic Friends Network! What in the world?

        My Magic 8 ball had this to say about your running man dance/cabbage patch/jitterbug: “My Sources Say No.”

      • June 12, 2012 1:36 pm

        Oh! And I see you’re filed under ‘personal’ this time around! Nice!

    • June 12, 2012 1:59 pm

      You called it Darla! Way to go Angie Z! I loved every one of these TV dad’s!

      • June 12, 2012 6:25 pm

        Thanks, Susie. Darla is starting a Psychic Friends Network — care to join? It’s Dionne Warwick-approved.

      • June 12, 2012 7:31 pm

        Woohoo! I would love to! Congrats again~
        Go Dionne!

      • Tar-Buns permalink
        June 12, 2012 7:46 pm

        Way to call it, Maineiacal laughter woman! :)

  9. June 11, 2012 10:09 am

    A tetanus shot, hahaha! Awesome.

    • June 11, 2012 10:15 pm

      Isn’t it sad what people died from back then? Seriously. A toothache — dead. An infected hangnail — dead.

      • June 12, 2012 3:51 pm

        Wow, congrats on Freshly Pressed again! How exciting!

      • June 12, 2012 6:48 pm

        Thanks, Nicki! I can’t believe you’re not Freshly Pressed 52 weeks out of a year.

  10. June 11, 2012 10:34 am

    Hysterical! I’m sure all your TV dads couldn’t be prouder of their little Angie.

    • June 11, 2012 10:17 pm

      The problem is they never seem proud. They don’t even make eye contact with me. That’s probably why I blog, because I desperately want to be loved.

      • June 12, 2012 1:14 pm

        You are loved! Freshly Pressed again you fresh young thang. No wonder you have no time for caption contest tomfoolery – you’re too busy putting out the bloggy gold!

      • June 12, 2012 6:14 pm

        Thanks, Peg. I think you’re a WordPress mole.

        Hmmmmm….I thought I stopped entering caption contests because I was tired of being rejected. But I like your explanation better.

    • Tar-Buns permalink
      June 12, 2012 7:30 pm

      Woo hoo! Peg’s sista coming to say congrats on being FP’d! Thank GOD they finally found some good stuff to FP, as in clever writing.
      Enjoy the ride!

      • June 12, 2012 7:36 pm

        Aw, thanks, Tar-Buns. And Peg is good people so you’re already okay by me.

  11. June 11, 2012 10:38 am

    this is great, I loved every bit of it. Hilarious.

  12. mark permalink
    June 11, 2012 10:49 am

    If you can’t work in lock jaw, boner, and storage shed into a post about Father’s Day, then you shouldn’t be allowed access to the Internet. Well done!

    • June 11, 2012 10:19 pm

      I’ve been wanting to work in pioneer illnesses for some time now. Finally the opportunity arose.

  13. June 11, 2012 11:04 am

    Comic genious! That’s Angie! This is one of my favorites.

  14. June 11, 2012 11:18 am

    Love this post so so soooo much! And, seriously, I *need* Jell-o Pudding Pops to come back. COME BAAAAAACK!!!!

    • June 11, 2012 10:23 pm

      I will do anything to bring them back, Gilly. Anything. I will stand over a hot stove all night boiling condensed milk until it curdles if that’s what it takes. I’ll let you know how it goes. Baby need pudding pop?

      • June 12, 2012 7:00 am

        Yes… *baby* needs a pudding pop. ;) Let the condensed milk-boiling commence!

      • June 12, 2012 5:56 pm

        If I can get my hands on some dry ice and if these things turn out, I’ll ship some pudding pops to Gilly II.

  15. June 11, 2012 12:09 pm

    I know some of these shows… but what about that strict-but-quietly-loving father from The Wonder Years? Or Peter Griffin? Or dear ol’ Homer Simpson? Isn’t there some kind of combo donut / coffee machine?? And if there isn’t, why isn’t there?

    • June 11, 2012 10:31 pm

      Mr. Arnold was pretty great alright. Peter and Homer were never fathers to me. Why, I can remember when they were born. I’m old enough to be their mother!

      Donut-coffee machine — now that’s a beautiful thing.

  16. June 11, 2012 12:44 pm

    I LOVED Bill Cosby’s impressive jumper collection. Do you mean to say they are not considered collector’s items? What shall I do with them all? Jumpers for llamas perhaps?

    Oh – and you got a little mention in today’s Jessseeker blog post. Thank you from saving me from another trip to A&E. :)

    • June 12, 2012 7:01 pm

      Aw, you used my “don’t pick your scabs, butt or boogers” line? You’re the best! I hope it’ll be my living legacy.

      I love when Brits call sweaters “jumpers” — LOVE it! Because to me jumpers cover the entire body. So right now I’m imagining Bill Cosby in a full-body sweater leotard. And that’s not a good thing.

      • June 13, 2012 2:15 pm

        I very nearly translated it into English, but “don’t pick your scabs, bottom or bogeys” didn’t have quite the same gravitas.

        Jumpers? Head to toe? Seriously?! Oh dear God, no. ;)

      • June 14, 2012 8:57 pm

        I think using bottom and bogeys would’ve been delightful! Yep, head-to-toe in colored wool. Sounds grand, doesn’t it?

  17. June 11, 2012 12:50 pm

    Bill Cosby is coming to town this summer. I’m very excited to see him, although it will be July, so he may be sweaterless…

    I would feel the need to get Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Drummond something as well.

    • Kinked Slinky permalink
      June 12, 2012 1:57 pm

      “What you talkin bout Willis….”

    • June 12, 2012 7:08 pm

      Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Drummond would make great additions to this list! I also thought of adding Joey Harris and Michael Taylor from My Two Dads, which I would’ve listed as one complete unit since individually they were a total wreck.

      Bill Cosby without a sweater is like a day without sunshine.

  18. June 11, 2012 3:36 pm

    Andy Taylor may need his jack-knife for more than just defense against Barney-Fifes-gone-wild. Rumor has it that Otis the town drunk has shifted from fortified wine to bath salts. Plus Aunt Bea may need to have a rabbit skinned.

    As for other TV dads, Herman Munster was conspicuously absent from your list. From the looks of things on Mockingbird Lane, Herm could use a new pair of those platform shoes.

    Great post – this website has had far too little Fred Sanford on it.

    • June 12, 2012 7:12 pm

      Only on 1950s television could you feature a town drunk whose alcoholism is deemed pure hilarity. And then the one episode where you see him sober, you feel a pang of disappointment.

      Herman Munster would be a great one to add on here!

  19. June 11, 2012 3:52 pm

    Awesomeness. And thanks for the father’s day idea for my dad. I never know what to buy him and a home depot gift card sounds pretty good. Maybe I’ll wrap it in a Ward Cleaver tie.

    Oh, I would have given Dr. Seaver a vasectomy if it could have prevented the birth of Kirk Cameron.

    • June 12, 2012 7:16 pm

      If we’re doling out vasectomies here, I’d also donate one to Bob Saget before little Stephanie Tanner could take over TGIF and before sassy-cuteness could reign supreme.

  20. June 11, 2012 5:12 pm

    Sparkling Father’s Day post, Angie! Yep. Anxiously awaiting the flood of comments to my inbox, thanks to your being FP’d. It’s coming…I can feel it.

    Now, if I can just figure out what inexpensive non-i-Gadget my own Dad and/or husband may desire. Hm…another pair of sexy slippers?

    • June 12, 2012 1:15 pm

      Nah nah!! Told you so. And if I recall, Darlonsky said so too, so there, FP-girl.

      Now…off to filter the bazillions of comments fixin’ to be pouring into my inbox. Enjoy your ride, Mama.

      • June 12, 2012 6:17 pm

        Oh no, Shannon! Comments pouring into your inbox? What a pain — I owe you a warm beer for tending to that pesky widget.

        Darla is trying to out-psychic me.

      • June 12, 2012 6:44 pm

        Well, it’s certainly not the first time. It’s just awesome…all in time for Father’s Day! So…Happy Father’s Day!

    • June 12, 2012 7:18 pm

      You’re still trying to figure out what to get your dad/husband for Father’s Day, Shannon? What, this list didn’t help you at all? Geez, I practically just did your shopping for you.

      • June 14, 2012 3:42 pm

        I know, I know, and it’s hard for me to buy ANYTHING (because I know it will end up in a land fill or floating in that swirling sesspool in the ocean). The tetanus shot sounds absolutely perfect. I’m sure they’ll love me for it.

        Incidentally, we’re spending our Father’s Day (with my dad AND my husband) at an impromptu family reunion — funeral version. So much for hanging out, camping, roasting weenies, s’mores, beer (for us, not the kids). Maybe next weekend.

        Hope you have a good one!

      • June 14, 2012 9:22 pm

        Nice chatting with you tonight, Shannon — happy weekend, happy reunion. Deep breaths.

      • June 14, 2012 9:38 pm

        You too, Angie. Always a delight. :)

  21. June 11, 2012 6:15 pm

    Father’s Day pales to Mother’s Day. But a Homeadapoor card will work. Seriously, you thought Dr. Huxtable was giving good advice? This explains a lot, my Dear Naive Child.

    • June 12, 2012 7:20 pm

      I don’t remember a word of what he said, but at the time his face looked sympathetic and then he probably pulled down his mouth to make that goofy face he always makes and I just assumed I had learned something about life.

  22. June 12, 2012 6:24 am

    I miss Jell-O pudding pops, too. They were soooo good.

    • June 12, 2012 7:21 pm

      I think the takeaway everyone should have after reading this post is — what the hell happened to Jell-O pudding pops? C’mon, people, we have got to get to the bottom of this.

  23. June 12, 2012 12:58 pm

    Fun post and great list. But didn’t Mike Brady have a den… the 1970’s version of a man cave? Love the roomba gift, cracked me up.

    • June 12, 2012 7:26 pm

      A den would indeed count as a man cave of a sort, you’re right — not “big screen TV and obnoxious sports memorabilia hanging on the walls” type of man cave, but a man cave in some sense, yes! And then Greg made Mike’s den into his own man cave on a “Very Special Episode” when he tries to lose his virginity (I might’ve read into that too much). I loved the funky lighting and beads Greg added to liven up the joint.

  24. June 12, 2012 1:01 pm

    Awww, you mentioned my favorite TV dad: I grew up wishing Charles Ingles would be my daddy. Only when mine was unavailable. Or when I was snowed into my home or encountered a bear in a forest…


    • June 12, 2012 7:39 pm

      Yes, if you were snowed into your home or encountered a bear in the forest or were struck down by scarlet fever, he’d be your man. Oh how I loved that guy.

  25. June 12, 2012 1:08 pm

    We HAVE to get those Freshly Pressed tattoos now!! I’ll draw up the designs. Are you opposed to penguins, rhinos and coconuts?

    Congratulations dear Angie. You’re my favourite. :)

    • June 12, 2012 7:33 pm

      Um, change of plans — we’ve now decided to get WP letters and sew them onto school varsity jackets. Are you in?

      Would a penguin still look cute if it were embroidered? Oh what a ridiculous question, of course it would.

      Thanks, Jess — I’m certain your aforementioned shout-out about my scabs, butt and boogers is what won me the prize.

      • June 13, 2012 2:20 pm

        I am most definitely IN! Penguins all the way! The word ‘boogers’ alone was sufficient.

        Am genuinely delighted for you! :D Go Angie!

      • June 14, 2012 9:00 pm

        You are the BEST!

  26. June 12, 2012 1:11 pm

    Love it! Thanks for my smile for the day

  27. June 12, 2012 1:26 pm

    Awesome trip down memory lane with these shows… hahahahah… I needed this. Forgot all about some of those shows. hahahahah
    ~Janet :)

    • June 12, 2012 7:41 pm

      We got rid of our cable TV and went to Netflix ages ago — whenever I see one of these shows is streaming on Netflix, it’s like I just won the lottery.

  28. June 12, 2012 1:26 pm

    At age fifty-four, a day doesn’t pass that I don’t think about my father who died at the tender age of thirty-nine, days before I was to turn seventeen. This post is a fun way of looking at fathers from my youth. Thank you.

    • June 12, 2012 7:43 pm

      Thirty-nine — that is way too young. How sad for you.

      I really do feel a weird kinship with all the TV moms and dads from my childhood.

  29. June 12, 2012 1:26 pm

    Nice compilation of goodness. Great post and insightful wisdom. Terrible gifts except the shed and knife.

    • June 12, 2012 7:45 pm

      I’m partial to the Tetanus shot myself. I imagine just sticking a vaccine-filled syringe in a gift bag with maybe a bit of tissue paper for effect.

  30. June 12, 2012 1:27 pm

    Great post! I really like these ideas for TV dads, especially for Mike Brady. That guy so needed a man cave to relax in!

  31. June 12, 2012 1:38 pm

    Hey! It’s me again! Just thought I’d pop in and leave you yet another comment amongst the hundreds more you’ll get today! :D :D :D :D (oh my god, I never break out my smiley faces, looks like I’m really excited for you!)

    • June 12, 2012 1:56 pm

      Comment, comment, comment, comment! ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

      • June 12, 2012 6:24 pm

        You two work in tandem like some kind of crazy blogging Laurel & Hardy comedy duo. I’m waiting for someone to shoot me with seltzer water.

    • June 12, 2012 6:22 pm

      Eh, throw it on the pile with the others. What’s one more?

      The smiley faces were really a nice, completely original touch, Darla.

  32. June 12, 2012 2:22 pm

    Angie, Congratulations on being freshly pressed! I am so happy for you! Way to go and so well deserved.

    • June 12, 2012 7:47 pm

      Aw, you came all the way back here to post this — thanks, Amy!

  33. mdprincing permalink
    June 12, 2012 2:39 pm

    Bravo, I just relived my teenage years.

    • June 12, 2012 7:48 pm

      Ooh, for me that might be a bad thing. I was pretty awkward.

  34. June 12, 2012 2:44 pm

    Wow, Angie! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed again!

    • June 12, 2012 6:48 pm

      Thanks, Paprika! Do I need to get two WordPress tattoos now?

      • June 12, 2012 6:51 pm

        I think a second tattoo might be unsightly, but you can use tally marks next to the tattoo you already have from your first “pressing.”

      • June 12, 2012 6:53 pm

        Looking at my letter jacket last weekend got me to thinking. Maybe we should scrap all this tattoo nonsense and go for WP letter jackets instead?

      • June 12, 2012 6:54 pm

        LOVE the idea, but you did point out that letter jackets were only cool in theory, not in the actual wearing.

      • June 12, 2012 6:56 pm

        Yeah, I think they were only cool to wear when they belonged to a boyfriend. Maybe we can get our husband’s to buy themselves one and then we can wear them and…okay, this is getting too complicated now.

      • June 12, 2012 9:09 pm

        Yeah, better just stick with the tattoo. Much less complicated.

      • June 12, 2012 9:11 pm

        I better get that tetanus shot back from Pa. I might need it.

  35. June 12, 2012 3:04 pm

    Wow, this is such a great article idea! You should try submitting your work to HelloGiggles…it’s totally their style! Well done!

    Courtney Hosny

    • June 12, 2012 7:50 pm

      Wow, I haven’t heard of that. I’ll have to look it up. Thanks, Courtney!

  36. June 12, 2012 3:24 pm

    I would give Mike Brady some birth control.

    Because heaven knows we don’t need any more Bradys in this world…

    Great list! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    • June 12, 2012 7:52 pm

      I’d take a few more Bradys if they were like Peter. Cindy…not so much.


  37. June 12, 2012 3:29 pm

    This was really cute and funny!


  38. Justin Burnell permalink
    June 12, 2012 3:48 pm

    Reblogged this on thehiltonburnellfiles and commented:
    Father’s Day is the best day to celebrate with every fathers in the world.

  39. June 12, 2012 4:06 pm

    Hilarious post – congrats on being FP! What about Archie Bunker on All in the Family. Doesn’t he deserve a 6-pack of his favorite beer, cold of course, and a quiet Sunday where he gets to watch sports from his favorite chair in peace and quiet. Mike, Gloria’s hubby, always gave him guff, and Gloria was so needy. Edith was, well, Edith. Can’t a bigot get a little respect sometime?

    • June 12, 2012 7:59 pm

      Archie Bunker deserves something alright, maybe a toe fungus or a smack across the face? Or, wait, was this supposed to be something he’d want to receive?

  40. June 12, 2012 4:25 pm

    Hi Angie — Darla just told me that you and I are Freshly Pressed twinsies! :) Congratulations! Father’s Day always seems to be one of those holidays that sneaks up on me — nice to start thinking about it a little early. As always, I so enjoy your sense of humor!

    • June 12, 2012 8:03 pm

      Yes, FP-twinsies indeed — congrats! And I believe you just changed your blog name? Usually that only ends in disaster, so way to get Freshly Pressed in the process!

      • June 15, 2012 11:39 am

        Ha! Glad it wasn’t a disaster. Yes — I used to blog under Play101 — that’s what you probably remember, from Peg’s grand Reese’s Peanut Butter scheme. :)

      • June 17, 2012 8:13 pm

        Yes — that’s what I thought. We need to take over WordPress again soon. (Are you listening, Peg? We’re ready for our orders, oh wise one.)

  41. LuvinDaLegal permalink
    June 12, 2012 4:31 pm

    Great post!!!! I love all these TV Dads as well….Thanks for thinking of something so great. Hey, I must share this with my friends. :)

    • June 12, 2012 8:05 pm

      Thank you. I missed the boat on Mother’s Day. I could’ve written a list twice this length with all my favorite TV moms.

  42. June 12, 2012 4:32 pm

    “Only the purest form of fatherly love could turn a belligerent loud-mouth into a big-hearted mushhead” — apt for me as this writer is preparing to become a father himself.

    My child is due to be born in the Fall.

    And so, this writer is going through some heavy but fundamental psychological shifts in perspectives.

    Sir, your Fred Flinstone description describes most aptly the extremes of perspectives I’ve been moving to – albeit unconsciously and without intent.

    And I’m still yet to meet the wee sproglet. To meet my own child. Sweet lord what insanity.

    Good insight, you nostalgic one, you. :)

    • June 12, 2012 8:07 pm

      Congrats to you — yes, having a kid changes everything. It’ll turn you into a completely amazing saint and then a completely amazing psychopath. All at the same time.


      • June 13, 2012 3:38 am

        Excellent description of duplicity. I like your style. Thanks for the well wishes. :)

  43. June 12, 2012 5:09 pm

    Ah, my fellow Bugeater, Cornhusker with a mullet-less husband:

    Fantastic post. You had me at Clif Huxtable –
    “Your personal version of a stamp collection, those rainbow monstrosities will only ever deplete in value.”

    I think I wore EVERY SINGLE United Color of Benetton, myself!!

    • June 12, 2012 8:14 pm

      No you did not just reference United Colors of Benetton in a comment on my blog! You might be the first person ever! And why that is, I cannot say — United Colors of Benetton deserves to be mentioned more often around here. It deserves its own blog post. Maybe its own blog?

      • June 12, 2012 9:36 pm

        Yes!! That’s what I’m talking about. I see an Angie post on this coming …

  44. June 12, 2012 5:16 pm

    Ha, I got a kick out of the Charles Ingalls one. I thought you were going to say some money since that guy never gets a break, but not dying from Tetanus works too!

    • June 12, 2012 8:17 pm

      I wanted to throw in a Diphtheria vaccine for good measure, but I ran out of money. Oh, well — Christmas is coming.

  45. June 12, 2012 5:27 pm

    Reblogged this on theturbogirls.

  46. June 12, 2012 5:45 pm

    Loved this !! My experience with dads in general has been “absent”. But as for my dearly loved husband my best friend, who I will call the best dad ever, it would have to be Fred Sandord like. He definitely needs a storage room to store all the tools and gadgets that he buys from Harbour Frieght and then never uses. But we have a gadget for every use just about. Text me if you need any size screwdriver or pliers or……… (smile)

    • June 12, 2012 8:18 pm

      I’d probably throw all that junk into a shed and then auction it off on Storage Wars. Then use the money to buy your husband something nice for Father’s Day — he deserves it.

  47. June 12, 2012 6:57 pm

    Reblogged this on Multiloquent Public.

  48. June 12, 2012 9:01 pm

    What about Al Bundy?

    • June 12, 2012 9:10 pm

      Yes, for Al I’d get his own bathroom. It’d do the whole family a favor.

  49. June 12, 2012 9:10 pm

    Fantastic post! I enjoy your blog :)

  50. June 12, 2012 9:47 pm

    Couldn’t help but to smile while reading your post! Thanks! :)

  51. June 12, 2012 10:11 pm

    What about 8 is enough….now that was a dad….

    • June 14, 2012 5:34 pm

      My favorite party trick is being able to list the names of all eight Bradford kids in one breath. But yet I could not tell you what their dad’s name was. Mr. Bradford, I suppose.

  52. June 12, 2012 10:31 pm

    Reblogged this on Flower Blossoms' Blog and commented:
    Would you give the gifts TV dads received for Father’s Day?

  53. June 12, 2012 11:12 pm

    I have a sneaking suspicion I know exactly what June Cleaver did all day. She was always so darn happy, it must’ve been interesting…

    And as for the robotic vacuum cleaners… When are they going to start selling those locally? I swear I went shopping for vacuum cleaners and they go as high as $900! Ha! Like I’m going to buy a non-robotic vacuum for anything over $120…

    Congrats on being freshly pressed!

    • June 14, 2012 9:33 pm

      No way — $900! It better also get me a drink and rub my feet for that amount.

      I’ve recently started watching Leave It to Beaver again on Netflix — I could never understand how June looked so great after tending to her house and two boys. The episode I watched recently featured her cleaning woman. Ah-ha! That always helps. It sure worked for Carol Brady.

  54. etarace permalink
    June 12, 2012 11:50 pm

    Envy me. I found a box of Jell-O Pudding Pops at Aldi’s once a few years ago.
    I think they may have quit making them again, probably because there was a lack of promotion and therefore lack of people buying them. I know I don’t tend to look in my grocer’s freezer for… well… anything. If people had known they were there (or could have been) there would have been a huge demand, and therefore a supply to make us all happy.
    Now we are sad, aging, nostalgic people who have impaled the tops of a few Snack Packs with plastic spoons and frozen them… only to be disappointed in the mess we have created.
    P.S. You get bonus points for mentioning My Two Dads in the comment section.

    • June 14, 2012 8:19 pm

      I would eat a decade-old freezer-burned pudding pop — happily. You were so lucky.

      P.S. My Two Dads would’ve been on my list but I worried no one would believe it was a real show.

  55. jamiegall1930 permalink
    June 13, 2012 12:38 am

    You totally forgot Tim Allen from Home Improvement ;)

    • June 14, 2012 8:21 pm

      That show was just a tad bit after my time — by then he seemed less like a dad and more like an uncle — a crazy one at that.

  56. Alyssa permalink
    June 13, 2012 12:49 am

    Oh, I miss this shows! My childhood memories were also created on these shows. Bravo for taking time to make this entry. Kudos to all dads, especially mine! :)

  57. June 13, 2012 6:11 am

    How did i Miss this brilliant post. How could Word Press have found you before I did. How come I don’t have any pudding pops. Or tetanus. Or boners. And I cannot whittle. Damn, I feel so left out :(.

    Congrats on being FP’d. I am in awe as always! And these Dads will always be with us.

    • June 14, 2012 9:42 am

      I still love you, Elyse! But I don’t have any pudding pops to share. How about some celery?

      • June 14, 2012 10:17 am

        Boy, Peg, you sure do know how to tempt a girl!

      • June 14, 2012 9:19 pm


      • June 14, 2012 9:19 pm

        Celery pops? If they’re frozen and on a stick, I’ll eat ’em.

    • June 14, 2012 8:24 pm

      No worries, Elyse — the tetanus shots, boners and pudding pops all freeze quite well until you’re ready to thaw them in the microwave later. Still fresh, even if they’re not freshly pressed anymore. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by. I promise I’ll get over to your blog this week.

  58. June 13, 2012 7:22 am

    Love, love, love this. And since I just found Dick Van Dyke on Netflix, I think that Rob Petrie needs another child. Little Richie is lost, missing or in his room most of the time and poor Rob doesn’t get to do many fatherly activities. And Mr. Keaton needs some illegal medicine in cigarette form. Dude, he deserves it.

    • June 14, 2012 8:28 pm

      Great comment. That is an excellent idea — Rob Petrie did need another son! Maybe they could’ve borrowed one from Fred MacMurray over at My Three Sons?

      P.S. Leave It to Beaver is streaming on Netflix right now — check it out!

  59. June 13, 2012 8:27 am

    OMG!!! We’re like SISTERS!!!

    They’re my Dads TOO!!!!!!!! :D

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed ;)

    • June 14, 2012 8:33 pm

      Hilarious — I’m probably related to more people than I even realize. Oh wow, then I’m even related to Justine Bateman, which has been my dream since I was eight.

  60. June 13, 2012 9:05 am

    I saw that this got Freshly Pressed and was like OF COURSE! Congrats, my friend! As always, very well-deserved!

    • June 14, 2012 8:39 pm

      Thank you! It means a lot to me that stopped back over to share in the freshly pressed hoopla. ;)

  61. scribbleofhappygoluckygal permalink
    June 13, 2012 9:18 am


  62. June 13, 2012 9:22 am

    This was a great post! You had me at “…perhaps in the form of a Home Depot gift card.” Because that is EXACTLY what my Dad is getting! lol

    • June 14, 2012 8:41 pm

      Thanks! I think they originally built that store entirely for our Father’s Day shopping.

  63. June 13, 2012 9:26 am

    I would give the Partridge family anyone of the fathers you mentioned.

    • June 14, 2012 8:42 pm

      Ha! That was perfect — you get an A+ for the show reference and the clever gift idea!

  64. June 13, 2012 9:26 am

    I meant – “any one” – sorry.

    • June 14, 2012 8:43 pm

      No need to edit around my house — I also leave my shoes in the middle of the floor.

  65. wardenfree permalink
    June 13, 2012 9:50 am

    These Dads in TV is really impressive!
    This post give me a good ideal for the gift of Father’s Day
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  66. June 13, 2012 10:34 am

    you are da bomb, Angie of Childhood Relived. (Why do I say “Relieved” in my head?)

    What are you going to get your real, yet less entertaining and involved Dad for FD?

    • June 14, 2012 8:48 pm

      Thank you — and even I have written it as “Relieved” before. It sounds sort of antacid-like, doesn’t it?

      I haven’t got my dad’s gift entirely figured out yet. I got time to decide…like a day.

  67. June 13, 2012 1:14 pm

    Muy buen post…

  68. June 13, 2012 1:26 pm

    Funny blog indeed in time for Father’s Day. I am so glad that you didn’t list Mister Rodgers sweater!

    • June 14, 2012 8:55 pm

      I wish I had Mister Roger’s sweater. I loved the peacock blue one especially.

  69. June 13, 2012 2:19 pm

    I love this post! Very clever and funny. I can also remember TV dads from shows like “Father Knows Best”, “My Little Margie”, “Bachelor Father”…it’ll be fun trying to conjur up good Father’s Day gifts for them! Thanks so much for sharing, & congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    • June 14, 2012 8:59 pm

      I liked Father Knows Best — but not quite as much as I loved The Donna Reed Show. I think I had a crush on the dad, Alex Stone, which is why he couldn’t make this list. Ick. I only recently started watching Bachelor Father. It never made the Nick at Nite round when I was a kid but I think they brought it back to TV when John Forsythe died.

      My Little Margie — I’ll have to look that up. ;)

  70. June 13, 2012 4:03 pm

    LOVED this post! It brought back wonderful memories of TV Dads that I admired and I loved your take on the gift ideas! Bravo!

  71. June 13, 2012 5:42 pm

    Brilliant! Might have to get my dad a sweater . . .

    • June 14, 2012 9:03 pm

      Thank you — those sweaters probably weigh a ton, so I hope you won’t have to ship it.

  72. June 13, 2012 6:10 pm

    Greatly enjoyed this post!!!

  73. June 13, 2012 6:51 pm

    Reblogged this on I was just thinking……. and commented:
    Happy Father’s Day

  74. June 13, 2012 7:57 pm

    LOL–clever gifts for those famous television fathers.

  75. June 13, 2012 9:33 pm

    Love every bit of your blog, I love the good old days myself, being a baby boomer. Good luck with your blog, cheers!

  76. Curly Carly permalink
    June 13, 2012 11:07 pm

    I almost never check the Freshly Pressed page, but I accidentally clicked on it today and what do you know…Childhood Relived plastered across the screen. Congrats!

    By the way, our friend Travis Tritt was on Nick at Nite last night. Mullet and all. Good thing I had just googled him to find the picture for my blog or I never would’ve known who I was looking at.

    • June 14, 2012 9:14 pm

      Thanks, Carly! Wait, you didn’t know what Travis Tritt looked like before you googled him for your blog? That makes my heart hurt. To not grow up knowing that sweet country mullet like I did — it makes me sad for you.

      • Curly Carly permalink
        June 14, 2012 10:07 pm

        Yeah, I don’t know how that happened. I’ve been listening to country music for years but I don’t think I could’ve picked him out of a line up. Not watching music videos religiously as a kid has finally come back to bite me.

      • June 17, 2012 7:15 pm

        How did people ever listen to music without videos? That’s a question I once asked myself. Now I’m shocked they even make music videos anymore.

  77. June 14, 2012 12:03 am

    Reblogged this on Findmebook's Blog and commented:
    I LOVE this blog. Thought I would share with all of you!

  78. June 14, 2012 2:23 am

    Life Is Beautiful

  79. bagladyboutique permalink
    June 14, 2012 9:14 am

    Reblogged this on Bag Lady Boutique.

  80. Madison Kelly permalink
    June 14, 2012 9:33 am

    Being a kid who grew up in the 80’s I absolutely loved this post!

    • June 14, 2012 9:16 pm

      Thank you! I tend to wallow in the ’80s a bit too much around here.

  81. Madison Kelly permalink
    June 14, 2012 9:39 am

    Reblogged this on Catty Kitty and commented:
    I thought this was original and fitting, considering that I was a kid who grew up in the 80’s I loved this for Father’s Day. Shout Out to all the Dad’s out there who show up, give endlessly of themselves to their families, and hopefully reap the rewards of a well together family later in life. I thank the Dads in my life both T.V. and otherwise.

  82. June 14, 2012 11:39 am

    Reblogged this on starmillennial and commented:
    Interesting read with Father’s Day around the corner!

  83. June 14, 2012 2:19 pm

    Ha ha! Especially love seven and nine. Congratulations :)

    • June 14, 2012 9:21 pm

      Thanks! I think if I did this in some sort of hierarchy format, Charles Ingalls would be number one. I loved that guy. The TV guy that is. I saw a photo of the real guy, old turn-of-the-century pioneer with a scary beard. Nope, not that one.

      • June 14, 2012 10:16 pm

        See, that is because you didn’t grow up in De Smet, SD. My hatred of Michael Landon burned like a thousand suns when I was a girl, because he messed with Laura’s books. Then I started watching the reruns in college and thought, this guy is AMAZING! Yeah, the real Pa Ingalls was not very photogenic.

      • June 17, 2012 7:17 pm

        Okay, I read your awesome Little House job post a while back and I rarely forget anything — but WHAT? Michael Landon messing with Laura’s books? Please explain, I’m intrigued. ;)

      • June 17, 2012 7:30 pm

        When the show came out, I was at a very concrete, black and white stage of development and within a very few shows, Michael Landon began introducing characters and side stories that never happened in the books. As one would have to, trying to develop a TV series out of books that talks a lot about butchering a freshly killed bear, or building a shack. I was incensed. How DARE he?!! Then, he completely insulted De Smet, SD by refusing to move the family out of Walnut Grove, MN. Because they’d invested so much in setting up the connections. I get it now, but then it was a slap in our small-town face. The thing that usually destroyed the TV faithful who visited us was that Albert never existed. So many tears. So much broken-heartedness. So, thanks a lot, Michael Landon, for making me the killer of joy. But I forgive you now. And a Happy Father’s Day to you, sir.

      • June 20, 2012 4:36 pm

        I feel like sitting down on the floor, folded legs and all, and letting you talk for hours about this stuff — like the story lady at the library. Can you use puppets? Oh, please use puppets! Seriously fascinating to hear about this.

        I knew Albert never existed — maybe I read it on your blog. So he was like “Andy” from Family Ties or “Cousin Oliver” from The Brady Bunch. Those characters that are sort of half-heartedly thrown into to a long-running show at the 11th hour as a way to freshen things up.

      • June 20, 2012 5:21 pm

        Ugh! Oliver! I wanted to like that kid, but it just didn’t work for me. Also Scrappy Doo, who I never even wanted to like.

        I love that you actually want to listen to me. I am not sure you should have told me that, however, because, lady, I can TALK, And I can do puppets, but I prefer the homemade sock kind, if that is all right with you.

      • June 20, 2012 6:05 pm

        Scrappy Doo! Perfect example.

        Yes, sock puppets would be fine. But what about that felt board with the cut-outs that stick to it? I like that.

  84. June 14, 2012 10:18 pm

    Congrats! I swept in (late as usual) and thought WTH? Hundreds of comments? What is going on here? Freshly pressed!!!! Yay and Awesome! Well deserved!!

  85. June 15, 2012 9:09 pm

    LOL! I love this! And I love my dad too. :)

  86. June 16, 2012 3:19 am

    Nice post!

  87. happilycurious permalink
    June 16, 2012 7:38 am

    Reblogged this on Happily Curious and commented:
    Found this on Childhood Relived. Thought it was cute.

  88. June 17, 2012 5:33 pm

    Thanks for the suggestions for Father’s Day as well as the walk thru memorable TV. The “Dad’s” in current day sitcoms are a bit different and a little too drastic for me. Thanks for sharing. You Matter! Smiles, Nancy

    • June 17, 2012 8:43 pm

      Thanks for reading. Yeah, I don’t watch TV today, outside of Netflix. But I’m pretty sure there will never be another Charles Ingalls.

  89. June 18, 2012 8:14 am

    Congrats on FP again! I go on vacation and miss so much around here. Good grief. What a great post. All my favorite TV dads on one place!

  90. June 23, 2012 3:25 pm

    hahahhahaha!!!! this was good stuff!! GREAT job! A tetanus shot for Pa Ingalls! bwaaaaaahhhaa! Hilarious!

  91. June 27, 2012 2:31 pm

    I missed this post AND it got FP! Where have I been? Congratulations!

    • June 30, 2012 7:33 pm

      Much appreciated! In the words of Eeyore, “Thanks for noticin’ me.”


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