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Terms of St. Elmo’s of Fire

June 18, 2012

I hate you Chariots of Fire! I hate you, I hate you!

Oh, the things that plague you when you’re a pastophile with a renowned steel-trap memory.

Any instance of forgetfulness.  Just one itty-bitty insignificant nugget of nostalgia becomes lost in the recesses of my brain matter and I shrivel into Pixy Stix dust.

I lose sleep.  I stop eating.  I obsess.  I curl into a ball and repeatedly smack my skull with a pet rock in hopes that it’ll restart the system.

Obviously I barely survived the years leading up to the invention of the internet.  Back then, back before Google, I used to resort to calling up friends in hopes that they would remember and alleviate my pain.

I once sunk so low that I called up a man I despised, a loser-creepo-jerkface-ex-boyfriend of a good friend, because I was certain he’d know what TV show featured a helicopter with a painted mouth.  I’m not proud of this.

It went something like, Riptide!  That’s it!  Now leave Julie the hell alone or I’ll slash your tires.

But usually it was more like, Kelley, I’m sorry to bother you.  I know your parents hate it when I call during dinner, but please tell me what planet Alf was from.

The most recent incident occurred last month after I featured this 1988 video relic, The Art of Scarf Styling in a Dynomite! post.

Just a few notes into its opening song and I recognized something very familiar.  It sounded like a bad remix, a tacky knock-off number.  Oh, how lame!  I can’t believe they ripped off that movie song!  That one movie.  You know, that one.  Sure, that one.  Oh, no!  Sweet Baby Jesus, tell me what ’80s movie that song is from!

The problem was I couldn’t google it.  Not a single line of lyrics to google because the song is instrumental.

So for several weeks I hummed it out loud.   To my husband.  To my neighbor.  To a person in line in front of me at the theater.  Again and again.  And I included wild gestures to accompany the scales.  Like a crazy person, like a homicidal maniac — except not so murdery.

Then I googled the hell out of everything I could think of.

Sentimental movie song with no words from the 80s.  


Then I youtubed every ’80s movie I could think of that features a musical montage or dramatic scene where an instrumental song plays.

Oh, yeah that was easy — because musical montages never occurred in ’80s movies.  Nope, never.  Especially not when the movie characters were working on a Big Project — like refurbishing a boat, or a car, or cleaning up an old house.  Especially not when the movie characters were spending time apart, reflecting on the person they love, or just on the verge of a major epiphany.

Terms of Endearment?  No, not that one.  Kramer vs. Kramer?  Where is that scene where there’s that one song?  No, not that scene.  Chariots of Fire?  Hell no.  Come on, dumbass!  Any everyday schmuck would know it’s not the Chariots of Fire theme song.  Man, you are so stupid!  So stupid!  Where is my pet rock?



Out-of-focus movie stills swirled around me as I played the song over and over in my mind.

Did it show a park while the song was playing?  No.  There were people cleaning something!  No.  Hugging?  Was it a group hug?  No.  Wasn’t there a person running on the beach?  Chariots of Fire?  No, damnit, no, no!  

Naturally for a few days I lost the song entirely after it was swallowed up by the Chariots of Fire soundtrack.  Damn you, Chariots of Fire!  I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

Then I tried to recreate whatever it was I was supposed to feel when I heard the song in hopes that it would jog some memory about the movie.  Was I sad when I heard it?  No.  Sad is too strong of a word — more like melancholy.  Yes!  But maybe with a touch of optimism?  Maybe melancholy because people are saying goodbye but they’re still optimistic about the future?  Yes!  But that could be anything.  Was there a refurbished sailboat involved?  No, no, no, you idiot, no!  

And then, just last week — Divine Intervention!

My husband and I were sifting through our streaming selection on Netflix when we stumbled upon St. Elmo’s Fire.

Something pulled me toward it.  Something said, Let’s watch it.  Something said, Here you will find a “refurbishing-a-sailboat” type of montage but without a refurbished sailboat involved.  Although, I’m of course always up for watching movies with a “refurbishing-a-sailboat” type of montage, but preferably with a refurbished sailboat involved.

And within five seconds into St. Elmo’s Fire, I knew.

I knew like I knew when I first met my husband.

This is It.  This is The One.  


My life was finally complete.

I could rest at last.  I could breathe again.  No, I’ll take it even further — I could live again!

Well, almost.

Because then I had to figure out whether Mare Winningham was the actress from Turner & Hooch.

93 Comments leave one →
  1. June 18, 2012 12:03 pm

    Wow. Only Emilio Estevez gave any evidence as to how round thir heads would al end up later…..this is the film that made me think that pearls and nudity were a sexy combo.

    • June 20, 2012 3:41 pm

      Yes, pearls were the height of sexy back then! And then Barbara Bush became the first lady and pearls have yet to recover.

  2. June 18, 2012 12:12 pm

    Awesome post! I could’ve helped with this one … as I am one of the few who purchased said soundtrack. Too bad they don’t make 80s movies any more … right?

  3. June 18, 2012 12:19 pm

    I should never have clicked here… GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHARIOTS OF FIRE!!!!

    • June 20, 2012 3:43 pm

      I thought if I passed it on to someone else, it’d leave me alone.

  4. June 18, 2012 12:29 pm

    I’m guessing you have some overachiever issues (while you are off googling musical montages based on your apparent mastery of sound recognition, I just googled how to spell overachiever). Thanks for sharing your excellent memory with those of us who grew up with the motto “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” and can’t even remember yesterday. My memory is so bad that last night in a dream I was writing down in the dream what I was suppose to remember from the dream – ironically it was about how important it is that we take some time out of our busy lives to reflect on what we are doing here . . . .

    • June 20, 2012 3:46 pm

      I think you dream in poetry. I’ve told you this before, haven’t I? I dream in bad movie and sitcom quotes.

  5. June 18, 2012 12:44 pm

    It never ends, does it? There’s always some obscure person or song to identify. One day, Google will let us upload ourselves humming these random tunes and search that way.

    • June 20, 2012 3:47 pm

      That would be brilliant — I can only hope! Until then, I’m thinking of reviving Name That Tune.

  6. June 18, 2012 12:46 pm

    I have a problem with this too because as a pianist, if I hear a beautiful piece of music, I want to play it, but finding something instrumental is hard, because, like you say, you can’t Google it. So frustrating!

    • June 20, 2012 3:48 pm

      Wow. Just wow. I cannot imagine — I think I’d die of an earworm-induced aneurysm.

  7. tbarnes permalink
    June 18, 2012 1:46 pm

    One Crazy Summer!!!! One of my all time favorites!!!!! Love that reference. If you get stuck like that again, please shoot me a note and I will gave my digits. That whole thing you went through is the way my mind works as well. I to am a child of the 80’s and a life long media junkie. “Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?”

    • June 20, 2012 3:52 pm

      You’re going to hate me. Please don’t hate me. But I could not recognize One Crazy Summer in a line-up. I saw it once ages ago, and I hardly remember it. I need to watch it again, don’t I? If John Cusack finds out, he’ll dump me for sure.

  8. June 18, 2012 1:48 pm

    Ha! Angie, your dedication is inspiring. And not at all distrubing.

    No seriously. This is hilarious. “… because musical montages never occurred in ’80s movies.” LOL And the whole time I was reading this I was thinking, “OMG. What if all of the commenters are like, ‘Oh! I knew that! You could have just asked me!'” I would have had to go on suicide watch (but I’d totally do that for you).

    • June 20, 2012 3:57 pm

      Disturbing? Me? It’s not like I form fixations on chipmunks or anything. I just fixate on normal things like the cast of Eight is Enough and Shaun Cassidy’s satin windbreaker.

      Yes, I’m so relieved that everyone didn’t jump in and say “Oh, I knew that! You could have just asked me!” I would completely withdraw from society if I lost my ’80s nostalgia expert status, my only social currency.

  9. June 18, 2012 1:52 pm

    Wow! I AM refurbishing a sailboat at this very moment and I was just thinking, “ya know what I could really use right now? Some truly terrific and appropriate theme music!” thanks to you Angie, yet again, you have saved the day! It’s a St. Elmo’s Miracle!! Now where can I get my hands on Estevez’s Bowie?

    • June 20, 2012 4:05 pm

      Oh, Mariclare. You are something else. “It’s a St. Elmo’s Miracle!” is just about the funniest thing ever written about miracles and St. Elmo, without including Elmo the Muppet. I think when you finally refurbish that sailboat, you should name her St. Elmo’s Miracle.

  10. beck16 permalink
    June 18, 2012 1:53 pm

    I know that feeling all too well!

    I’m now IMDB-ing Mare Winningham.

  11. surroundedbyimbeciles permalink
    June 18, 2012 2:16 pm

    The Internet has made finding lost nuggets of information easy, but it seemed a lot more fun to do it the old fashioned way.

    • June 20, 2012 4:07 pm

      I couldn’t agree more! Google is made for people who have no appreciation for the thrill of the hunt.

  12. June 18, 2012 3:21 pm

    Thank all the trivia gods you finally solved that important riddle! Now, have you figured out what shade of lipstick everyone in that St. Elmo’s promo photo is wearing? It’s not really Rob Lowe’s color.

    • June 20, 2012 4:13 pm

      I think Rob Lowe looks constipated. But the lipstick is certainly a nice touch.

  13. June 18, 2012 3:52 pm

    I am the same way, but not with 80s nostalgia. I will not let something go until I can remember it, and I eventually do. Often it’s “where do I know her from?” when I see someone in a store or at a restaurant. And two weeks later I’ll remember that she used to take her kids to the same story time I took mine to years ago. I don’t often forget people.

    • June 20, 2012 4:17 pm

      I do that too, Karen! The worst is seeing a person completely out of their natural habitat — like seeing the drive-up bank teller at the grocery store. Forget about it. I live just two hours away from my college town and a lot of my college classmates have settled in my area. It seems I’m always running into people who remind me of someone from a class but I can’t place them. It drives me insane — I’ve been known to approach people to ask how I know them just to alleviate my stress.

  14. June 18, 2012 4:32 pm

    These are the kind of things that keep me up at night, and I’m not being jokey here. Something I watch will bring up a hazy memory of a character saying some line a movie, and I will obsess until I figure it out. It’s painful. I feel your pain. I glad you were able to end your quest.

    • June 20, 2012 4:24 pm

      What makes it worse is my husband is no help. He sucks at the “who is that dude and what has he been in” game. He can’t even tell whether people who are related look alike.

      I think I’m going to start bugging you when I get hung up next time.

  15. June 18, 2012 6:31 pm

    First, I don’t even want to mention how frightened I am that the word “Melmac” popped into my head immediately when I read “what planet is Alf from?” I didn’t even watch that show.

    Second, I’m sure you’ll be receiving a thank you note from i-tunes for the download I’m about to make of the St. Elmo’s theme song for my movie soundtracks playlist on my i-pod.

    Fun post!

    • June 20, 2012 4:29 pm

      I love that Melmac popped in your head! Brilliant! And you never even watched Alf and still knew this? You are my hero.

      Whatever you do, do not download Chariots of Fire. Please no. iTunes might recommend it but don’t believe it. It’s rubbish.

  16. June 18, 2012 7:28 pm

    Yes! When we first got AOL, I spent so long searching (on askjeeves, of course) for the name of a movie I watched in the 80s that had a scene with dancing mushrooms. God, I still haven’t found it and the agony of not knowing! I called up my sisters, and we all remembered, but none of us knew… what was it? WHAT WAS IT

    So, yeah, I can relate to this. I am glad you found your answer!

    • June 20, 2012 5:06 pm

      A scene with dancing mushrooms — I had a good laugh reading this so then I had to read it out loud to my husband, and he said, “That sounds made up.” Which he meant in the most loving way possible, I’m certain. Tell me more, Nicki. Were these mushrooms cartoons, were they clay, were you on mushrooms when you saw them, was it costumes you wore in ballet, did Bobcat Goldthwait star in it?

      After seeing that Elyse’s decades-old song riddle has now been solved (below), I started thinking maybe we should have a peer-support group on my site exclusively dedicated to people trying to solve these kinds of pop culture mysteries.

      • June 20, 2012 6:04 pm

        I FOUND IT. It’s a movie called “The Elm-Chanted Forest,” and it is so terrible. Just… awful.

      • June 20, 2012 6:09 pm

        Holy crap, Nicki! That was so bad I felt embarrassed to even be watching it. Ugh.

        Not to mention it seemed a bit, um, racist maybe?

        Why did I spell your name “Nikki” in my last comment? I never do that!

      • June 20, 2012 6:31 pm

        Yeah, kind of wishing I didn’t find it now. That scene gave me nightmares when I was little and now it’s back in my head. How will I sleep tonight?

      • June 20, 2012 6:35 pm

        Stay away from mushrooms, for one. In case I didn’t mention it, that song is as creepy awful as the cartoon. I’m sort of having an internal argument with myself right now over which is more psychotic.

      • June 20, 2012 10:45 pm

        I like that support group idea. Count me in, Angie.

  17. June 18, 2012 8:02 pm

    Oh, Angie, you made my night. Just watching Rob Lowe looking like a total dork (he is a total dork, yes, but he is a damn handsome dork), made me happy.

    What you reminded me of, though, is the Christmas song I sang in 6th grade chorus, which I have been looking for since 7th grade. “No golden carriage, no bright toys, now downy pillow for one small boy, only a manger, stars above. Only the straw ‘neath the gift of love.”

    If you can name that song I will pay you forever.

    • June 19, 2012 9:39 pm

      Here you go, Elyse:

      No Golden Carriage, No Bright Toy by Gilbert M. Martin

      • June 20, 2012 5:11 pm

        You are the man, MJ. Where were you when I needed you 10 weeks ago while suffering through my own earworm issues?

      • June 20, 2012 7:35 pm

        MJ I am speechless. I have probably asked 1,000 people about this song. Music lovers, Christmas lovers, elves. Stable boys. Everybody. And no one had ever heard of it. (Perhaps it is because I thought it was by Brahms or Beethovan, though. My bad. Sounds Brahms-ish, I think.)

        I am rarely speechless. I will not sing it for you though. Yes, I am that nice.

        My husband will, however, hate you as I will be singing this song forever. Otherwise I’ll forget it again.

        Seriously, many, many thanks. And a Merry Christmas to you.

      • June 20, 2012 8:14 pm

        I’m so glad you have the piece of music now. You can play it to your heart’s content. And Merry Christmas to you as well.

    • June 20, 2012 5:09 pm

      Wow, Elyse, MJ should be your new best friend. Let’s hope he didn’t read the “pay” line of your comment — or you’re going to have to start writing some checks now.

      • June 20, 2012 7:38 pm

        Angie, I am amazed, and MJ IS my new best friend. I can’t believe it. I have been looking for this song since 1968 give or take a year. I know only one verse (although it is streaming so…. I will still only know one verse.after I hear it 10 times).

        It is amazing. Thank you for making me think of this song.

        And thanks for the fun blogs. I always save your posts for when I have time to really get into the way-back machine and laugh.

      • June 20, 2012 8:12 pm

        Elyse’s joy is payment enough. I love to pin down a piece of trivia for someone who has been trying to remember, but can’t find what they’re looking for. I seriously would LOVE to do that as a full-time job. Even when I was a small child, my dad would call me to find things for him.

      • June 20, 2012 8:17 pm

        That sounds so honest, helpful and genuine, MJ — like a person raised in the Midwest or something.

      • June 20, 2012 8:18 pm

        You know it, my Husker sister!

      • June 21, 2012 6:14 am

        Wait a minute! We folks from the East are “honest, helpful and genuine,” too, you know. We just hide it better.

      • June 20, 2012 8:18 pm

        My jaw is still on the floor, actually. I think that my wallet is currently inaccessible.

        I am really truly amazed. It is a beautiful song. Thank you so much, MJ. I feel suddenly Christmassy.

  18. June 18, 2012 9:23 pm

    And now I’ll have the theme to Chariots of Fire in my head for the next few days. Thanks for that.

    • June 20, 2012 5:16 pm

      You’re welcome! But wait! There’s more! Since you’re among my first twenty readers, I also have for you Ace of Base — “All that she wants is another baby, she’s gone tomorrow, but all that she wants is another baby-a-hey-a.”

  19. June 19, 2012 6:50 am

    This post reminds me of that 80’s sitcom with the guy who is always doing that hat thing. You know the one. Though I could be wrong about the hat. It definitely had a guy in it.

    I am glad to know that I am not alone in playing the tenuous 80s reference game.

    • June 20, 2012 6:13 pm

      Yes, of course the hat thing and that guy did it. Yep. That one. I think he was tall, maybe short. And possibly said funny things.

      I play that game all day long. In fact, I can’t sit through an old movie without playing the “what else has he been in?” game with every obscure actor who appears in a scene.

  20. June 19, 2012 10:27 am

    I wish I could unsee John Cusack’s stance. He looks like a jerk, but I still love him. He wouldn’t be a jerk to me. He’d be nice. I know it. I just know it.
    And St. Elmo’s Fire …. *swoon* love that movie – that depressing movie. To this day, I whisper whenever I say the word *cancer*.

    • June 20, 2012 6:15 pm

      He looks like a jerk with uncomfortably tight jeans. And neither is something I’m willing to take on in this stage of my life. Sorry, John. I love you, but no.

  21. June 19, 2012 12:27 pm

    You’re a pastophile????

    While I applaud your brutal honesty (and I appreciate it, since I now know not to let my 5 year old read your blog) I do think you should probably seek some kind of help for that. Have you ever considered the potential risks you pose to the public?? I mean… a lot of people read your blog… and any one them could be easily corrupted by your thoughts and actions…

    I haven’t contacted the police YET…. but please, for the love of God, turn yourself in. Get some help. You know it’s the right thing to do.

    • June 20, 2012 6:18 pm

      I’m sure you noticed but I tend to peddle pastophile smut on my blog. And, yes, I have included such disgusting photos as Brad Pitt with a mullet. I once wrote an entire post on Taco Flavored Doritos. Who does that? I’m sick and I do need help. Thank you for helping me recognize this.

      • June 20, 2012 8:22 pm

        That’s okay. That’s what friends are for. You’ve taken your first steps toward healing and I’m very proud of you :)

  22. June 19, 2012 1:19 pm

    Oh, well, Jeezum crow! You should have just called me up and asked me!

    See, once upon a time, back when I was still deathly afraid of cooties and thought Rob Lowe was dreamy, my mother brought home some piano music she picked up at the local Kmart blue light special for 1.99 It was this totally rad 80s compilation. One of the first songs I learned how to play? Gimme A Break. The second song I learned how to play? over and over again so I could drive all my brothers stark raving mad? Bingo! St. Elmo’s Fire. I think I had that song in my head the better part of my college years.

    • June 20, 2012 6:22 pm

      I love it! Little Darla playing 1,000 rounds of Gimme A Break! I can still hum the first few bars of that song. And when I do I can imagine Nell Carter vacuuming up the fish tank. But St. Elmo’s Fire — how could that song drive anyone mad? It’s like a lullaby sung by rose-scented kitten angels in heaven.

  23. June 19, 2012 4:01 pm

    That very thing happens to me too, Angie, but I’m never clever enough to blog about it in such a witty, entertaining, and useful (I learned a new word! fuuuuuuuuckity) fashion (no pun on the scarf). It’s more like I jolt upright in bed and scare the bloomin’ tar out of my husband as I blurt out “SAINT ELMO’S FIIIIIYEERRRRRRE!!” and then go back to a restful sleep, leaving him with high blood pressure and up for the night. No fair. Maybe I shouldn’t have given away my pet rock named Sumpm’.

    • June 20, 2012 6:42 pm

      Wait, go back to that pet rock part, Shannon — was his name really Sumpm’ or is that what you’re just calling him now because you can’t remember. Oh no, I hope he’s still alive — otherwise I’ll feel bad even asking you about him. Oh, pet rocks — so selfless the way they’d always sit there and listen to our problems, never asking for anything in return.

      • June 20, 2012 6:46 pm

        No, it was rock named Sumpm.’ It was painted on it by my crafty, super-artistic great uncle (who was a professional rodeo clown and leather-worker and in the Hall of Fame). I said to him, marveling at a white-tailed dear painting on a large limestone rock, “Uncle Jack! Paint me sumpm’ on a rock!!

        So he did.

        And I have no idea where it went off to. *sigh*

      • June 20, 2012 6:49 pm

        I could listen to your stories all day. All day! Rodeo clown uncle…and a brother who runs a traveling carnival. I’m starting to think you’re making some of this up or Sumpm’. (See what I did? Like that?)

      • June 20, 2012 6:54 pm

        No kidding. I’ll have to pick one of the more entertaining ones to share with you on the phone. Be forewarned. You have no IDEA the extent of my crazy infamous family. I couldn’t make up that crap if I tried (remember, I’m not creative).

      • June 20, 2012 7:12 pm

        Ha! Looking forward to that. Sounds like something you should tell around a campfire.

  24. June 19, 2012 7:02 pm

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHARIOTS OF FIRE!! Soundtrack to every slo-mo sequence since the 1980s! GET OUT!
    Now I will have to see this movie. I’m so behind on 1980s pop culture…

    • June 20, 2012 6:43 pm

      Yes — the soundtrack to every slo-mo sequence since the 1980s! You totally nailed it on that one, Dana.

      “I’m so behind on 1980s pop culture…” Get outta town! Well, you came to the right place.

      • June 20, 2012 9:39 pm

        I’ve never even seen classics like Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, or the original Footloose. WTH? My HUSBAND finally insisted we watch Dirty Dancing last year. It’s not his favourite movie (obviously), but he felt it was necessary that I came up to speed on classic pop culture references like “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”. I feel so enlightened now. ;)

  25. June 19, 2012 9:44 pm

    Angie, let me know anytime you’re stumped. I’m a bit of a … okay, I’m a HUGE trivia and research junkie. What I don’t know, or ahem, can’t remember (which happens a lot) I will hunt and track it down until I have my prey. Sorry, got a little carried away there. :)

    • June 20, 2012 6:47 pm

      What a coincidence, MJ! I am a HUGE trivia and research junkie as well, um, I guess that, yeah, probably this is obvious by my blog. Hey, if we ever got on the same side of a Trivia Pursuit contest, we would totally rock that competition. You’d be yelling out “Willie Aames” and I’d be yelling out “Glass Tiger” and together we would own trivia night.

      P.S. New gravatar — nice!

  26. June 20, 2012 9:36 am

    Oh God there is nothing worse than reaching for the strain of a mysterious song and not coming up with the answer… This has happened me on numerous occasions, and led to random jumping up and shrieking of the answer, months later in an inappropriate location. Cue startled Monday morning pensioners doing their grocery shop at the slightly batty lady on aisle three. So satisfying when you find out though, right?

    • June 20, 2012 7:20 pm

      You are right about solving the mystery while standing in the grocery store! Grocery stores’ Muzak stations are a gold mine for songs that have been all but banished from the Pop Culture Wasteland. Side note — I read that grocery stores in particular play old familiar love songs to subliminally cause women to think about the men they love and then want to take better care of them with higher priced food. If they played the St. Elmo’s Fire love song, the only thing I’d be thinking about is me and my stupid blog.

      • June 21, 2012 3:50 am

        OMG – those manipulative so and sos! It’s true as well, I have checked with my sisters/girlfriends and all of us with menfolk tend to go around the supermarket cherry picking their favorite stuff… now I know why!

  27. June 20, 2012 11:12 am

    i get the obsession! my parents are like that in a bad way. guessing movies/songs made up a lot of our traveling time.

    • June 20, 2012 6:26 pm

      Your parents sound like the coolest people ever! Will they adopt me?

      • June 20, 2012 7:08 pm

        my mom would gladly take in another daughter under certain guidelines: you will watch every Disney movie under the moon with her, especially Darby O Gill and the Little People, and belt out Johnny Horton’s North to Alaska while riding in the car. Then, you’re in!

      • June 20, 2012 7:14 pm

        Aw, she sounds so sweet and enchanting — and not in a Disney type of way either!

  28. June 20, 2012 2:27 pm

    OMG, I do the exact same thing! If I need to find the answer/source of something I’ve been obsessing about (OBSESSING!!), I will google the heck out whatever I need to find until I find it. Throw in Bing too if google fails me…I know exactly what you mean.

    This also reminds me a little of my husband when he googles something. Instead of typing something like, “Salmon recipe” he’ll google: “the salmon recipe I want to cook for dinner that has blank ingredients in it and is very yummy..” LOL!

    P.S. Did you really have a pet rock? Cuz I had a pet [fake] diamond. I was like, “screw rocks! My pet can produce rainbows on the sidewalk when I put it in the sun!” :)

    • June 20, 2012 6:33 pm

      Your husband sounds like me. I think he also sounds like a lot of people that come to my blog via search engines. I.e. “Shaun Cassidy’s underwear what kind boxers white?” or “Alex P. Keaton what episode his parents punished him kangaroo.”

      Actually that last one is taken verbatim from my own recent search history.

      Yes — I had a pet rock that I made at some kind of summer camp. It was painted and had googly eyes. I wouldn’t recognize it in a line-up. Because at some point I lost it and my brother let me have his — which was painted a shiny metallic pink (he will deny this) and looked just like an alligator’s head. I loved that thing.

      • June 20, 2012 8:26 pm

        My two year old just asked me, “What are you laughing at, mommy?” And I told him, “Angie’s reply.” Then saw your profile pic and said “Haha! Look at that little girl! She has a funny face!”

        I swear, I had nothing to do with it…

        Oh, and confession time: I just googled “funniest google searches”…I’m having a blast right now. :)

      • June 20, 2012 8:35 pm

        I love your son’s response about 1979-Angie’s funny face! Priceless. Oh, gotta love kids. But tell him 1979-Angie is not someone he should mess with. Seriously, the girl is a brat with violent tendencies. She’s been known to throw legos at people.

  29. June 21, 2012 11:34 pm

    Oh my God that kind of thing drives me crazy too. There’s always things that will trigger memories but then I can’t remember where I remember a certain thing from.

    Also, I’ve nominated you for the beautiful blogger award!

  30. June 26, 2012 5:24 pm

    Your anguish could have been prevented by a really awesome app. If you have a smart phone, you should get SoundHound. You can either play or (badly) sing a song into it, and it will tell you both the name of the song and the artist. You don’t have to know the words- just the tune is enough. Which is awesome for songs that have no freaking words. SoundHound helped me identify Music Box Dancer AND Baby Elephant Walk. Best of all, it’s FREE!! Because god knows I don’t spend one red cent on an app.

    And just so you know, it has an amazingly large encyclopedia of music. Like my daughter hummed in a Japanese pop song she had heard on some YouTube video, and IT FOUND IT! I was shocked. They have a little thing where you can hear a snippet of the song to make sure it’s the right one. Next time you can’t identify an 80s classic, give it a try. It will save you days of agony and annoyance.

    • June 30, 2012 7:08 pm

      Okay, all this sounds great — except for one little problem. I don’t have a smart phone. I don’t even have a cell phone that was made in the past decade. I’m what you call a technological recluse. I can now just barely operate a fax machine and I hear those things were banned in 1998.

      But, man, sounds amazing. Are you sure there isn’t a person behind that app listening to all of these songs. How can computers be that smart?!

    • June 30, 2012 7:09 pm

      Okay, all this sounds great — except for one little problem. I don’t have a smart phone. I don’t even have a cell phone that was made in the past decade. I’m what you call a technological recluse. I can now just barely operate a fax machine and I hear those things were banned in 1998.

      But, man, sounds amazing. Are you sure there isn’t a person behind that app listening to all of these songs? How can computers be that smart?!

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