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What the . . . Mr. T’s Fashion Show?

June 22, 2012

*What the…Friday? is a weekly Friday feature in which I resuscitate a video relic from the swampy pits of Pop Culture Wasteland.*

Today:  What the Mr. T’s Fashion Show?

Back in May when I premiered my WTF? video series, I had every intention of simply showing a video and then shutting my yap to allow art to speak for itself.

But how can I stand silently by while Dom DeLuise gets his butt pinched by Betty White, Ray Stevens streaks through a grocery store aisle, and Richard Simmons is Richard Simmons?

Of course I can’t.  I’m not strong enough.

Now this?  This right here has caused a freak medical condition to occur — I have been stunned into a state of paralysis of the mind.  I don’t believe there’s a single thing I can formulate in my brain right now that will add to what is already there.

Trust me, it’s all there.

48 Comments leave one →
  1. June 22, 2012 6:06 am

    Consider my mind blown. And the weekend officially started: hi-oh! Did I mention I met Mr.T? I will send you the photo for words do not do it justice. I will say this, he was wearing a full on frying pan as a necklace. Now THAT is some serious style! And quite frankly, pretty convienient.

    • June 22, 2012 8:22 pm

      What are you talking about — he wore a frying pan?! Get out! That’s like all my wishes coming true at the same time! I went to college with a guy who wore a spatula around his neck every day. I had no idea that he was totally ripping off Mr. T.

  2. Emily permalink
    June 22, 2012 6:51 am

    Hahaha! “Perfect for stopping traffic, or for starting… who knows what?”

    • June 22, 2012 8:23 pm

      It’s Mr. T’s classy commentary that makes the ENTIRE VIDEO STARK RAVING BRILLIANT! Sorry, I tend to scream when I get excited about Mr. T fashion videos.

  3. June 22, 2012 7:18 am

    Ok,,just why the hell is Mr.T there?? Oh,,and Marta wins with her perfect white tube socks and heels,,just saying.

    • June 22, 2012 8:25 pm

      She is a natural indeed. Only I’d argue that Manny is the one who wins — I don’t know, okay his clothes suck. But Mr. T seems to really dig him. And Mr. T knows special, trust me.

  4. June 22, 2012 7:29 am

    OMFG. That was one big ball of epicness.

    • June 22, 2012 8:28 pm

      I agree. The ball of epicness is so big that it’s practically a planet in its own solar system.

  5. June 22, 2012 7:30 am

    Holy-Crap-On-A-Stick!! I was cringing on so many levels, then Mr. T had his visual “connection” with Manny and the whole thing went to a new level of “yikes”. It was worth the trip just to hear Mr. T say the word “ensemble” near the end of the clip. I wonder how many takes they needed to get him to say that word reasonably well.

    • June 22, 2012 8:32 pm

      That moment Mr. T and Manny’s eyes meet. Wow. Really something, isn’t it? It just hits you right in that deep down spot in your stomach where you tend to feel the urge to vomit.

      I just learned how to pronounce “ensemble” last year.

  6. June 22, 2012 7:53 am

    Oh Happy Friday to me! That was fantastic. “With her mustard socks and ketchup sash, she’s a real hot dog.” I’m stealing that, Mr. T. I’m also putting shoulder pads in all my T-shirts, just like Kelly.Thank you for this, Angie.Thank you.

    • June 22, 2012 8:35 pm

      No, thank you! I didn’t even notice the shoulder pads in Kelly’s t-shirt, and that’s embarrassing for me to admit. I was too busy noticing the rolled up sleeves on her shirt, and then recalling the horror of back when I’d get a t-shirt with sleeves too short to roll. “What am I supposed to do with a stumpy-sleeved t-shirt, Mom?”

  7. June 22, 2012 7:55 am

    ‘Stay cool, jeff’. I think that about sums it up for me. Rumor has it it was this video that put him out of the running for the lucrative ‘psychic friends network’ spokesperson gig- they felt it didn’t do their seriosuness justice.

    • June 22, 2012 8:38 pm

      Perhaps losing his slot on the Psychic Friends Network was a risk he was willing to take — in hopes he’d be picked for a guest appearance on MTV’s House of Style. So he took a gamble and he lost it all.

  8. Tony permalink
    June 22, 2012 8:19 am

    Wow, and here I thought his Saturday morning cartoon with him and the team of gymnasts was his big low.

    • June 22, 2012 8:40 pm

      I forgot they were gymnasts! Yes, they were! It’s all coming back to me now.

      I think his low might’ve been when he endorsed a breakfast cereal. I mean, he could’ve went the badass route like Wheaties. But no.

  9. June 22, 2012 8:22 am

    I think this changed my life a little bit.

    • June 22, 2012 8:42 pm

      It made you a better person, didn’t it? It almost hurts to feel that much.

      By the way, I remember reading your hilarious blog amid our Reese’s WordPress takeover. I am honored to have you in my house.

  10. beck16 permalink
    June 22, 2012 8:44 am

    Wow! This is truly a gem!
    I loved Marta in her high heels with socks. I mean, not just any one can pull that off.
    I need name patches on all my clothes, just so I don’t forget they’re mine. Plus, I’d never have to introduce myself, I could just point to my name patch!
    I wonder if MC Hammer paid Athena for those pants?

    • June 22, 2012 8:46 pm

      Athena in her MC Hammer pants (and, apparently, a “butler hat” and a “kimono jacket”) is the coolest kid here — I don’t think there’s any point in arguing that. I’d put my money on Athena to kick ass around the school. The other ones, frankly, I’m worried about.

  11. June 22, 2012 9:51 am

    My eyes! My eyes! I need to wash them out in acid now.

    Jeff’s name-tagged, mom-jeaned bootie will haunt me forever.

    • June 22, 2012 8:51 pm

      Jeff’s slo-mo’d dance moves is what will haunt me forever. And the music is still playing in my head. Over and over. And over. It feels like right now I’m walking through a department store looking at $10 beige towels when all the while I’m just sitting in my living room.

  12. June 22, 2012 12:47 pm

    Oh holy chipmunks. The fact that I can’t watch this right now is as cruel as when 11-year-old me got to the drug store and found out my “friends” had told me to show up 15 minutes late, so they could ditch me and clear out the rack with all the ‘make a plastic bubble with a straw and some goop’ toy things before I got there.

    Yeah. Like that.

    • June 22, 2012 2:13 pm

      That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I hope you can get some good therapy to handle the gut-wrenching rejection.

      • June 22, 2012 2:20 pm

        LOL Peg, actually, there was this blog I submitted the story to called “I Survived the Mean Girls,” but she hasn’t posted anything new in months and months! Maybe I should shop it around now; since I can’t afford therapy, I need to capitalize on my childhood trauma.

      • June 22, 2012 8:54 pm

        Blogging, hello? Free therapy. Cures for whatever ails you in the ol’ noggin department. Isn’t that why we’re all here? Or, oh, maybe just me.

    • June 22, 2012 8:53 pm

      This story pains me, Jules. Why would chipmunks be so cruel? Why?

    • June 23, 2012 9:18 am

      I’m hugging 11 year old Jules right now. That is horrible what they did to you. I just hated and still hate the mean things kids do to each other.

      • June 23, 2012 3:30 pm

        Like when a kid pukes on someone and then turns it around so that the puker ends up the cool one and the pukee becomes the heel. I’m still hoping to beat her up.

  13. June 23, 2012 9:15 am

    Two comments:

    1. “She’s takin’ the A-train to fashion.” She’s takin’ the A-train, but I think it went somewhere else!

    2. Like Jeff, I always wore my name tag on my butt because it called attention to what I was. hehehe

    • June 23, 2012 3:27 pm

      1. Yes, I think that train derailed.
      2. I can’t tell if back then Jeff would’ve been a superstar or a tremendous tool.

  14. June 23, 2012 4:36 pm

    Hmmm…Marta looks suspiciously like Gloria from Kids Incorporated. Which of course anyone who was ANYONE watched in the 80’s. I would investigate further but I’m busy digging through my closet hoping to piece together Kelly’s outfit for my 9am meeting on Monday.

    • June 23, 2012 5:31 pm

      Holy crap! You’re right. And, get this, I just now googled her and learned that Marta (aka Gloria) became the singer Martika who sang the song Toy Soldiers, which was a big hit in the late ’80s. I love that you spotted her — big thanks for that catch!

  15. June 23, 2012 11:38 pm

    This video made my LIFE! I’m a big fan of the “so bad it’s good” genre, and this clip really took it to the next level. I want to take the A Train to fashion, too! Good call on letting the video speak for itself. Mr. T pretty much says everything that needs to be said. Stay cool, Angie.

    • June 26, 2012 1:11 pm

      Yes, this indeed falls into the “so bad it’s good” film genre. I think I need to go back to school and get a degree in the “so bad it’s good” film genre. And if I recall correctly the A Train to fashion takes a detour through the buttmunch district.

      Stay cool, Dana.

  16. June 24, 2012 7:07 pm

    I want to be the living embodiment of the United Nations like Athena. Where is my synthesizer?

    Um…yes….how is this real?

    • June 26, 2012 1:13 pm

      Yes, isn’t the synthesizer the best part? I think I’m going to go buy the sheet music for the song so I can play it on my Casio keyboard.

  17. June 24, 2012 8:50 pm

    Wow. That’s all anyone can say about his “mustard and ketchup” comment.

  18. June 26, 2012 2:01 pm

    Hi Angie,
    I was showing my husband this hilarious video after learning that he used to watch the A-Team as a kid, and he found this gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo
    Have you seen it? (Mr. T on Treat Your Mother Right)

    • June 26, 2012 2:13 pm

      You have uncovered a true gem, Amy! Hide that thing away in a safety deposit box before someone steals it!

      You probably won’t be surprised to learn that I posted this video on my blog a while back. That’s how good I am — I even scrape down to the cruddy bits left at the bottom of the trashcan.

  19. June 28, 2012 7:28 am

    I missed so much in my youth. Thank you, Angie, for taking me back. I think.

  20. July 20, 2012 7:40 pm

    The Mr. T butt-shaking ~2:24 has officially scarred me for life. Also, frosty white pumps! A useless shoe if ever I’ve seen one.

    • July 22, 2012 6:50 pm

      Yep — exactly the part where I sustained temporary cardiac arrest. “Frosty white pumps” — why does the word “frosty” in there make them now seem fashionable? You are a marketing genius, Tracy.

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