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Activewear — for Camping or Cat Riding

June 25, 2012

Dynomite! is an ongoing segment where I publish submitted photos from the ’70s, ’80s or ’90s of readers demonstrating their fashion A-game.   All accepted entries published on my blog will later compete in a Dynomite! All-Stars competition like this one here.

I confess that my Dynomite! series has gotten a bit out of hand.

I am up to my earlobes in permed bangs and velour.

Never did I anticipate receiving so many entries.  Never did I anticipate the extent of my readers’ self-loathing.

Each blessed entry deserves its own special post.  But, at the rate of this roll-out, the Mayans will end the world before I get that accomplished.

From here on out I will instead feature multiple Dynomite! entries at a time, grouped by category.  Look for a Family Photos edition coming soon, along with a School Photos edition — and holy awkward years! — that edition promises to be uh-mazing.

But wait!  First I must offer my second Dynomite! All-Stars Competition.  That’s right — next week you will vote for the winner of this latest round of entries.  And that winner will not only win a grand prize (!) but will rule the right-hand margin of my blog site until I remember to take it down for the next two weeks.

Exciting stuff, right?

Facing off in the upcoming competition will be our past three contestants, (1) Cathie, (2) Lenore, (3) Jules AND . . .

(4) John-Paul, better known as JP, from the blog Man of Errors.

When I received this entry from JP, I immediately wrote back something like,

Anyway, I totally intended to write that to JP.  But actually it was more along the lines of, 

But, trust me, he knew I meant business.

After JP assured me his cat was not harmed in the making of this photo and that he had no idea what he was doing here, I remembered he lives in New Zealand.

And who am I to judge the animal husbandry customs of other cultures?  I know from watching The Jerk, that they do cat juggling in Mexico.  And I hear that monkeys are a delicacy in Rhode Island.  Which is actually comforting as I am terrified of monkeys and I sleep better knowing a few of them are off the streets.

But let’s get back to the issue at hand — JP’s stellar stylings.  I love his adorable Shirley Temple coif, which is complemented by a pair of shop class safety glasses.  Nope, no sawdust or metal shards are getting past those babies — although, that’s not to say he won’t lop off his fingers.

I’d also like to recognize JP’s phenomenal demonstration of what is best described as “activewear” — sweatsuit, tracksuit, whatever the kids are calling it now.  Thanksgivingsuit, as I’ve been known to call it.

I admire the letters S-P-O-R-T printed across JP’s shirt, and the inclusion of prehistoric cave drawings depicting the types of activities that might fall under the category of SPORT.

In this case — kicking, punching and pounding a tent stake into the ground.

It appears one example of SPORT is a person lying on a stretcher.  And I’d raise my glass of Tang to that person.  But JP’s photo is not high quality so I cannot confirm this.  I also cannot be sure whether one person isn’t riding a cat.

Let’s give a round of cyber applause for JP.  I hope you’ll check out his blog here — it’s one of my favorites.

And remember — next week it’s so on, folks!  May the best Dynomite! kid win.

33 Comments leave one →
  1. June 25, 2012 7:22 am

    I’ve tried out several comments so I’m just going to leave this one. I can’t get past the cat. I’m really trying, but I need to know what is going on. Is this 50 Shades of Grey: the Animal Version? Help!

    • June 25, 2012 7:44 am

      I felt sorry enough for JP that I couldn’t “go there” in this post — so many thanks to you for going there for me. You might want to go wash off now.

  2. June 25, 2012 7:32 am

    I think he may be practicing giving birth (as most young men in the 80s? did at one time or another!). F***ing hysterical and a great way to wake up this morning. Thank you!

    • June 25, 2012 7:49 am

      Oh no! Practicing giving birth to…furbies? I’m totally unaware of this 80s practice, although I’m also too naive to get how Michael Hutchence died.

  3. June 25, 2012 7:53 am

    So it’s a CAT. I thought it was a duck. That clears things up considerably. I totally get it now.

  4. June 25, 2012 8:08 am

    I have no words.

    That said, this article (if you want to call it an article) reminds me of you:
    http://photos.ellen.warnerbros.com/galleries/bad_school_photos

    • June 26, 2012 1:17 pm

      That’s great! Thanks, Lenore. Should I write to Ellen now and thank her for ripping me off? Because I’m sure I’m the first person in the world to exploit people’s awkward school photos.

      Not to brag but the photos I have in my possession are going to blow those photos out of the water.

  5. June 25, 2012 8:13 am

    I’m in a hotel, and their internet is really slow. This post loses a little oomph when the pictures won’t load… I’m trying to visualize this, but it’s a bleak picture.

    • June 25, 2012 8:15 am

      Pictures are indeed required…

      • June 26, 2012 1:20 pm

        This was one of those posts that didn’t even need words. Yet I couldn’t hold back.

    • June 25, 2012 9:48 am

      B-Man, don’t give up. Holy crud. It’s amazing.

    • June 26, 2012 1:17 pm

      Tragic! That’s okay — it probably would’ve burned out your retinas.

  6. June 25, 2012 8:14 am

    As if the (head-in-the-) ass-cat wasn’t enough, your narration of JP’s wares pushed me over the edge. “Shop safety glasses?” “Prehistoric cave drawings?” Angie, you’ve outdone yourself! JP — that photo absolutely NEEDED to come out of the box. Thank you for the laugh this morning.

    • June 26, 2012 1:19 pm

      JP — what a guy! I know he’s lurking around here somewhere because he’s well aware that yesterday was his big day. More like the cat’s big day.

  7. June 25, 2012 9:22 am

    I’m sure the cat in question plotted JP’s death for the rest of his days. Good thing the cat didn’t attack at the exact moment it became trapped under crotch. Ouch.

    • June 26, 2012 1:23 pm

      I bet the cat really did plot something brilliant — she probably left one of those post-evacuation hanger-on thingies in his jar of vegemite. Of course, a hanger-on would go completely unnoticed in vegemite.

  8. June 25, 2012 9:47 am

    HA HA HA Oh. My. Feline. Goodness. Wow wow wow. I voluntarily withdraw myself from the running, because between JP and Lenore, I don’t even know how I got in there.

    “And who am I to judge the animal husbandry customs of other cultures?” I howled at that, Angie!

    Wow. …Wow.

    • June 26, 2012 1:26 pm

      What. Ever. Besides, your toothpaste costume photo would win every photo competition during Halloween. Which means I probably will need to resurrect it this fall.

  9. June 25, 2012 1:07 pm

    JP is one brave dude to post that picture publicly. And he looks an awful lot like a guy I dated in high school, except his glasses are way cooler.

    • June 26, 2012 1:29 pm

      Actually, he was practically giddy when he sent it to me. I think he thought it would help him win friends and influence people. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that we Americans aren’t into that kinky stuff.

      I hope JP isn’t reading this.

  10. June 25, 2012 7:34 pm

    Peg stole my comment. I think we need to “hand it” to JP for being willing to admit it is him. After all, they say many things about guys from New Zealand. Most of them involve sheep. None that I’ve ever heard involves a cat. So we can always learn from our friends from Oceana.

  11. June 25, 2012 9:55 pm

    I am so glad I didn’t submit my photos! With the exception of a truly electrifying perm, I have NOTHING that compares to this. I bow to the magnificence of the sweat-suited double reverse cat rider. *bows*

    • June 26, 2012 1:35 pm

      Lynnette, hand over the photos and no one gets hurt. Hand them over or I’ll have to dig up the one with your prairie mullet braids.

      “I bow to the magnificence of the sweat-suited double reverse cat rider.” I bow to that line!

  12. June 27, 2012 12:40 pm

    Hahaha! What. The. HELL??! It would have been enough to submit the cropped version (like the one you have that only highlights his activewear). But the cat?! It’s too much for words– I’m speechless! Giddy-up!

    • June 30, 2012 7:22 pm

      I know — it’s social suicide. Poor JP. It’s obvious he has an unhealthy self image.

  13. John-Paul permalink
    June 27, 2012 5:52 pm

    I can understand why you’re picking on me. I really can. But let’s all stop a moment and reflect on what someone was thinking in this photo. Not me (“I am rocking this active wear”), not the cat (“$^%&#*@($&^%^#*@@($&%”), but my mother who took the actual photo. What the hell was she thinking? Did she think, “I’ll just wait a minute until this unfortunate situation has resolved itself”? No, she thought, “I better capture this forever”.

    In addition, I would like to add that most children in New Zealand ride backwards cats to school every day. FACT. Can you prove I’m lying? Can you?

    • June 30, 2012 7:50 pm

      That’s right — talk it out, JP. Perhaps this can help you come to terms with your poor behavior. Judgment Day will be on Monday.

      Your mom was smart to photograph this moment because no one would’ve believed her.

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