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My First Anniversary is Dynomite!

July 2, 2012

A year ago today I sprang forth this blog.  A year ago today I unleashed this photo.

And you wept until your eyes became puffy and red.  And you looked up to the heavens and pleaded for mercy.  And you clutched at your heart and wailed, “No, God!  Nooooo!”

And you were laughing at me but I confused it with pity.

But there’s plenty of laughter to go around.  Oh yes.

Because today it seems fitting — on my one-year blogoversary — that I share some of that spotlight with you.

Today you will place your vote for one of our four Dynomite! contenders.

The winner will be declared the most Dynomite! of all.

But, wait, there’s more!

The winner will have their photo posted on my blog site for all the world to admire (see Jason at bottom-right).

But, wait, there’s still more!

The winner will be awarded a Basket O’ Nostalgia, featuring flashback items hand-picked by 1979-Angie — to be revealed when our Dynomite! winner is announced next week!

Yes.  Pinch yourself because this is all happening.

Now let’s catch up with our round of contestants.

Here we met Cathie of the blog Chatty Cathie’s Endless Chatter:

It’s like magic watching all of those different ways the scarves can be tied!  I was at TJ Maxx today and they had a display of scarves.  I’m guilty of standing there looking at them thinking, “I can tie it like this…or like that…or like this…”

– Cathie

Here we met Lenore of the blog Lenore’s Thoughts Exactly:

(My bolo tie) was handmade.  No, not by me.  I bought it when I worked in a glass gallery.  People didn’t notice the braces when I wore the bolo tie.  It was my train-track diversion technique.  Keeping my mouth closed worked, too.

– Lenore

Here we met Jules of the blog Go Jules Go:

Angie, where we differ is that I’ve spent many years learning to block out these memories, followed by a strict diet of vodka to make sure any lingering memories were completely wiped out.  I seriously don’t remember having this picture taken.

– Jules

And finally, here we met JP of the blog Man of Errors:

I can understand why you’re picking on me.  I really can.  But let’s all stop a moment and reflect on what someone was thinking in this photo.  Not me (“I am rocking this active wear”), not the cat (“$^%&#*@($&^%^#*@@($&%”), but my mother who took the actual photo.  What the hell was she thinking?

– JP

Vote today, vote tomorrow, vote every day if the feeling moves you — polling will end at 6:00 AM CST next Monday.

83 Comments leave one →
  1. July 2, 2012 6:11 am

    Fun contest to celebrate your blogaversary! Here’s to another year of nostalgia and laughs :)

  2. July 2, 2012 6:12 am

    I’m just not even sure how to choose.

    • July 2, 2012 6:51 am

      I’m with you. You aren’t making this easy, Angie Z…..

      • July 5, 2012 7:21 pm

        Luckily German Clock Girl isn’t in the mix or you’d really have a dilemma on your hands.

    • July 5, 2012 7:15 pm

      I hope you chose wisely — I sure don’t want to put someone in power who might use that power for evil.

  3. July 2, 2012 6:16 am

    Oh, and happy anniversary!

  4. July 2, 2012 6:48 am

    My life has gotten infinitely better since the birth of your blog. You bring so much joy and laughter into my life- thank you Angie! And thank you JP for straddling that cat. I bust into laughter every time I see it.

    • July 5, 2012 7:20 pm

      Thanks a bunch, Mariclare — you’re the tops! I don’t know if I want to thank JP, high-five him or arrest him?

  5. July 2, 2012 6:53 am

    I thought I’d check in today and picked a great time because HOLY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! I can’t believe you’ve only been doing this for a year. I kinda hate you a little now…nah, I love ya still. Just in a jealous kinda way…

    • July 5, 2012 7:26 pm

      Thanks, Darla. I’m throwing a raging party later, and you and Mr. Skittles are invited. Please tell Mr. Skittles that the party is BYOCP — bring your own circus peanuts, naturally.

      When you say that you can’t believe I’ve only been doing this one year, you mean because I seem like an old pro at this, right? Right?! Because I sort of worry that you mean I seem crusty and cynical, like I’ve been at it for 15 years. By the way, I hate this hell hole — I am so out of here.

      • July 6, 2012 1:45 pm

        Dear crusty and cynical …

        I will be celebrating my one year – August 11th. You all are wily veterans, in comparison!

        Keep up the good work, both of you. :)

      • July 6, 2012 2:45 pm

        Hooray — happy August blogbirth! Did you know that the August birthstone is peridot? Oh, shoot — I’m going to spoil the surprise! Dammit, I always do that.

  6. July 2, 2012 7:19 am

    I voted for myself, and I’m not too ashamed to admit it. In fact, I may vote for myself again. Tomorrow.

    • July 2, 2012 10:43 am

      It’s not the bolo, it’s the eyes. Dear God, they’re following me around the room!!!! Make it stop.

      • July 2, 2012 11:24 am

        My eyes are cautioning you to move along or else I’ll flash you my tinsel teeth. I’m watching you. You’ve been warned.

      • July 5, 2012 8:13 pm

        Sort of like the Scooby Doo paintings.

    • July 5, 2012 7:29 pm

      Yes, of course — why wouldn’t you vote for yourself? Because, since you worked at that glass factory, you know exactly the kind of blood, sweat and tears that poured into that bolo tie. It’s a work of art!

  7. July 2, 2012 7:21 am

    Oh silly me, I completely focused on myself and failed to wish you a happy Blog’a’versary. The blogosphere is a better place – a funnier place – a more enjoyable place with you in it, Angie. Please continue. Happy Blog’a’versary!

    • July 5, 2012 7:30 pm

      Thanks a heaping whole lot, Lenore. If I get too wasted at my anniversary blowout, will you be my DD?

  8. July 2, 2012 7:37 am

    Happy Anniversary, Angie. You are DYNOMITE! Your blog always leaves me laughing, crying and wondering how you can possibly remember this stuff even well enough to know what to type into Google.

    And yours is my very favorite picture, closely followed by the one of you and your brother.

    Here’s a toast to another crazy year reliving childhood with you! Damn, it’s just coffee!

    • July 5, 2012 7:38 pm

      “…How you can possibly remember this stuff even well enough to know what to type into Google.” Well, there have been a few moments where I sat dead-eyed staring at The Google, hoping G.W. could give me a hand in my search.

      Thank you, Elyse — for smiling, patting my little gravatar on the head and offering her Oreo cookies before she even finished her dinner. You know she only eats off the frosting side, don’t you? And the coffee has already stunted her growth.

      • July 5, 2012 9:09 pm

        Ah Angie. You are wonderful. You should eat your fluffernutter before you eat your Oreos.

  9. July 2, 2012 7:38 am

    Happy first year! It’s been great reliving my childhood with you. It’s nice. I can forget my horrible moments and laugh at yours. It’s a win-win for all. ;) Thanks for putting yourself out there, Angie.

    • July 5, 2012 7:40 pm

      Thanks, Karen — my goal for the coming weeks is to get back to putting myself out there. Lord knows I have plenty more horrible moments to share. Although, I’m going to tread lightly around junior high. Those years are still a bit painful to relive.

  10. July 2, 2012 7:54 am

    How can you make me choose? This is the hardest decision I ever had to make and that goes for the decision I had to make today when the cashier asked if I wanted my plastic encased pork chops to be wrapped in even more plastic in order to further the demise of the planet and said “Hellz yesz! Now wrap the bag in plastic too, and wrap my hands and then wrap the floor, let’s wrap this whole place.”

    I’m torn…there’s the feathered hair, but then there’s the bolo tie, but then what about the scarf??? And the cat smothered by track suit??? Too much.

    Happy blog-versary!

    • July 5, 2012 7:46 pm

      Yes, but those plastic bags can be recycled and used for making more plastic bags. If you don’t take the plastic bags, what are they going to use to make future plastic bags? And without plastic bags, what the hell is pink slime? Seriously, what the hell is it? It’s quite the ethical dilemma, much like choosing between Cathie, Lenore, Jules and JP.

  11. July 2, 2012 8:00 am

    I’m sorry JP that your mother did that to you however I’m thrilled that she raised a son strong enough to share it so we could howl with crazy laughter with the endless fodder available in that pic. Hilarious and a big thanks for sharing!

    • July 5, 2012 7:51 pm

      Yes, I feel a huge debt of gratitude for JP sharing this photo. It’s like the sort of sacrifice one might expect only a parent does for a child. Thank you, JP, wherever you are. Thank you for painfully birthing this hilarity on my blog.

    • July 5, 2012 7:52 pm

      PS Your photo will be up soon.

  12. July 2, 2012 9:59 am

    not even pictures of my adorable niece, puppies or a plate of bacon do I love more than that random picture of you mouth-breathing. what a total crack up. you make me miss shag carpet and homemade flammable clothing made out of first-generation polyester.

    • July 5, 2012 7:57 pm

      Your comment is poetic, Alisa. And I can’t think of a better way to go than as a burning ball of “homemade flammable clothing made out of first-generation polyester,” soaring like a comet through the starry night. Amen.

  13. July 2, 2012 10:13 am

    Happy Anniversary, Angie!! What a perfect anniversary post. I know I said I didn’t even want to try to compete with these other breathtaking entries, but dang if I don’t want to win that basket.

    Oh, JP…even his caption killed me. But…the bolo tie. The scarf. Wow. This is the most difficult vote I’ve ever cast. Deep breath. Going to my happy place, where when you miss your old familiar friends, they’re waiting just around the bend.

    • July 5, 2012 8:01 pm

      Thanks, Jules! May the best person win — who is also hopefully the closest person to mail a prize to. Since you sent Go Jules Go snap bracelets to Dubai, maybe you can estimate for me what it costs to send a flashback basket to New Zealand?

  14. July 2, 2012 10:18 am

    That is one seriously cute gravatar photo, Angie. It defines your cool, remarkable style in ways that words simply cannot. Happy 1st blog-a-versary, my friend. And may you have many, many more. :)

    • July 5, 2012 8:06 pm

      Thanks, Shannon. But I think your lizard gravatar might beat out mine in terms of attractiveness.

  15. July 2, 2012 10:36 am

    I can’t hear the word dnyomite, without thinking of Jimmy Walker. Also, it’s the reason I only have three fingers.

    • July 5, 2012 8:07 pm

      Jimmie Walker invented Dynomite and Looney Tunes’ Acme company invented Dynamite. Just a theory — and important for when you file your lawsuit.

  16. July 2, 2012 10:42 am

    I love me all of these entries but got to, GOT TO go with JP for the win. Going to those lengths for a laugh…being willing to expose THAT level of wrongness to public judgement, well, it can’t go unrewarded.

    Congrats on the bloggiversary, Angie. The interwebz is a nicer, goofier place because of you.

    • July 5, 2012 8:12 pm

      Thanks a million, Peg. And by “million” I mean $3.45 and a piece of linty Trident gum that I found at the bottom of my purse.

      I think JP is winning by a landslide — but I’m always up for a “Little Engine that Could” comeback. Wait a minute, doesn’t Lenore own a set of train tracks in her mouth? Wait a minute, doesn’t her bolo tie look sort of like a steam engine? This is getting really weird now.

  17. July 2, 2012 10:56 am

    Happy Blogaversary! What’s so fun about your blog is it is exactly my childhood relived too!

    • July 5, 2012 8:16 pm

      Thank you for reading! Do you mean you also maimed your dog with a rubberband bracelet? Wow, I feel so much better now!

  18. Beth permalink
    July 2, 2012 11:18 am

    I don’t even think this is fair – any picture that can be referred to as “the cat crotch one” automatically wins every time, right? Sorry, but the ladies aren’t even playing in the same league as JP!

    • July 5, 2012 8:28 pm

      Ha! That’s a great way to sum it up. As much as I respect JP’s photo, I hope it won’t encourage copycats trying to look as cool as “the cat crotch one.” (Kids, seriously, do not try this at home. No, really. I’ll call PETA.)

  19. July 2, 2012 11:29 am

    First of all, HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY!!!!!! That’s awesome!

    With that said, now a plea to your readers: Vote for me! Vote for me! C’mon people! Vote for me! I’m not only rocking the 80s scarf, but I’ve got the Donna Mills eyeshadow and GINORMOUS hair to go with it! Not only that, but my roommate in the picture is wearing a BAND UNIFORM! How much more DYNAMITE can you get? LOL!!!!

    • July 5, 2012 8:31 pm

      Shameless vote wrangling is highly encouraged around here, Cathie — and you make a great case for yourself. Your photo helped coin The Band Uniform Rule, for crying out loud! We should be hosting scarf parties in your honor. Come on!

      • July 8, 2012 10:08 pm

        OH HECK YEAH! I mean…I’m pretty sure I STARTED the blue eyeshadow and scarf craze. Okay…maybe I didn’t start it, but I’m sure I perpetuated it lonnnnnnngggg past the time we should’ve given it up! LOL

      • July 10, 2012 10:21 am

        That’s right, Cathie. Hold your head up high. Nothing to be ashamed of — you rocked that look.

      • July 10, 2012 6:19 pm

        Hahaha! I guess someone had to! LOL

  20. July 2, 2012 2:36 pm

    Happy blogoversary! May the nostalgia continue for years more, until Twitter is throwback!

  21. July 2, 2012 9:05 pm

    That was a VERY difficult vote! Kudos to all the candidates, ha! :)

    • July 2, 2012 9:07 pm

      And BTW, Congrats – I am going to DIY some pom poms out of old shredded issues of DWELL and do a cheer for you…here goes!

      • July 5, 2012 8:35 pm

        Brilliant! I remember a cheer that says — “Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” Could you do that one?

      • July 5, 2012 8:47 pm

        As a matter of fact, that is the only cheer I know! :)

    • July 5, 2012 8:33 pm

      Yes — I hope you didn’t wrestle with your decision for too long.

  22. July 3, 2012 12:01 am

    Definitely JP. Any guy who isn’t afraid to have a pussy between is legs is fine by me LOL

  23. July 3, 2012 11:26 am

    Congrats on your anniversary! I hope there were balloons, cake, and maybe even a pinata!

    • July 5, 2012 8:37 pm

      The pinata contained Pop Rocks — and, like acid, they promptly ate right through the papier-mache. Ruined the whole party. But otherwise fun!

  24. John-Paul permalink
    July 3, 2012 1:49 pm

    One year. Congratulations. How many human years is one blog year?

    • July 5, 2012 8:39 pm

      How many human years equal a cat year? That’s the question we should be asking here, shouldn’t we, JP? I estimate that cat spent three weeks of her life in an activewear choke hold.

      • John-Paul permalink
        July 6, 2012 2:08 pm

        My therapist says I don’t need to answer any questions.

      • July 6, 2012 2:49 pm


  25. July 3, 2012 4:23 pm

    Woo-hoo! Happy Blogaversary! Thanks for keeping us ever-so-entertained! :)

  26. July 3, 2012 8:31 pm

    Congratulations on the anniversary, Angie! I’ve only been along for the ride for the past few weeks– think of all the classic nostalgia I’ve missed! :(

    I didn’t think the JP-cat-straddling photo could get any better, but then I read the caption. PRICELESS!

    • July 5, 2012 8:42 pm

      Thanks, Dana! As for JP, we’ll see what he has to say for himself if he wins. Perhaps he’ll donate his winnings to the Humane Society.

  27. July 4, 2012 10:52 am

    I’ve been seduced by JPs matching sweatsuit. I believe I had one similar at this age to go with my pudding bowl haircut and sweet moves I invented to Michael Jackson’s Beat It around the same era… ah, nostalgia!

    • July 5, 2012 8:48 pm

      That is some high-stylin’ nostalgia you just evoked there. Dancing to Beat It in a sweatsuit was the most authentic way to go. A red leather jacket could’ve made you seem like a poser.

  28. Mark permalink
    July 5, 2012 5:25 pm

    Velvet cat trap = winning!

    • July 5, 2012 8:50 pm

      Indeed. And I thought Brenda Walsh invented the velvet choker.

  29. July 6, 2012 7:32 am

    Huzzah! Happy anniversary!

  30. July 6, 2012 1:46 pm

    Personally, I would never dream of putting an embarrassing picture of myself on a blog post. How low do you think I would stoop?? Yep, pretty low!!

    • July 6, 2012 2:46 pm

      Isn’t that why blogs were invented? Because if we couldn’t post our embarrassing photos on blogs, where would we post them? Facebook? Oh.

  31. July 7, 2012 11:27 pm

    Congrats on the anniversary! It seems like a lot of the blogs I follow started around this time last year.

    I had a hard time picking my favorite photo. JP finally won out. I still can’t get over that poor cat.

  32. July 20, 2012 8:03 pm

    Happy Anniversary! The first anniversary is paper, you know?!?

    I swore I wouldn’t laugh at these old photos because lord knows I have plenty of horrifying photos of myself and people who live in glass houses and all. But JP! And that cat! I laugh and then I worry about the cat. My eyes cannot un-see that.

    • July 22, 2012 7:00 pm

      I’ve since learned from JP that the cat’s name is Penny. I will never forget Penny — for the sake of her sacrificed dignity, I will not allow myself to ever forget her.


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