What the . . . Spider-Man and His Amazing Apartment
Today: What the Spider-Man and His Amazing Apartment?
Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends thought they were Hot Stuff.
Like I used to hate that they were all, “Look at our great college apartment.” And they were like, “Look at our autographed poster of our bestie Incredible Hulk.” And they were so, “Look at how we’re all co-ed and everything, isn’t that modern?” And then sometimes they were like, “Look at all our books. Don’t you like our books? Aren’t you old enough to read books? You can’t read books? Why don’t you stop being such a baby?”
Hey, just so you know, I had an apartment in college once too, Spider-Man.
That’s right. And it was amazing.
And I had lots of amazing things in it, too.
I had a Hawaiian punch-stained bathroom rug. I had a philodendron in a macrame’d hanging pot.
I had a carpeted cat house that smelled like patchouli. I had a lime floral chair that smelled like cat urine.
I had a cardboard box that looked just like a chest of drawers. I had a plastic crate that could hold all my underwear.
And get this!
I had a futon couch that I could sit on by day and then — Zoom! Blam! Kapow! — fold down and sleep on by night.
I just about had it all, didn’t I.
But I didn’t.
What I didn’t have?
My friends, I have been to the mountaintop, I’ve looked over the side and I’ve seen the Promised Land.
What does it look like?
In our living rooms.