Disco may be dead, but I’ll be damned if it sucked.
Remember back in the good ol’ days when we all thought disco wouldn’t die?
You know, like an incessant whiny housefly you’ve swatted at twenty times — and yet it keeps on doing the Hustle?
Very moving. I’ve never felt quite this passionate about anything.
And then, perhaps all too soon, the Last Dance was actually the last. And the sun went down on KC’s Sunshine Band. And Studio 54 ran out of coke.
Maybe disco didn’t suck. Maybe it was just horribly misunderstood.
This blog kind of died too. But I’ll be damned if it sucked.
I’ve been away a long time. And I didn’t even have the courtesy to leave a note or call to tell you my plans. Not even those made-up kinds, like I’m just staying the night at Christy’s house tonight and, yes, I promise her parents are there.
Nothing. How irresponsible of me.
WordPress declared my blog dead too.
July 1st marked my blog’s 2-year anniversary. Woohoo!
To celebrate, after 18 months of living high on the blog-hog, WordPress stripped me from its short list of Recommended Humor Blogs.
Thank you for once loving me WordPress. The way we were . . .
That hurt, WordPress. That hurt bad.
And then I returned to my blog this week, after a two and a half month leave of absence, and the windows were all boarded up. My newspapers were piled in the front lawn, my screen door was stuffed with sales flyers, and squatters were hanging out giving time-share presentations to whoever stopped by.
Not the kind of homecoming I expected.
Well, speaking of squatters, if you want to know the truth of why this blog fell apart, it’s this. Earlier this year, a little thing called pregnancy happened.
And the little womb squatter I’m now supporting is likely not getting out until he’s good and ready. Which will be a while.
I forgive that he’s cramped my blogging style.
But I might not forgive him for the other styles he’s cramped.
Shuuuut up. The hat adds 10 pounds.
Like how I now find stretchy polyester to be the best invention since Fruity Pebbles. And how I’ve surmised that housecoats really can be both practical and fun.
But while I haven’t been blogging lately, I also haven’t been cleaning the cat litterbox. So I’ve got that going for me.
I don’t know where I’ll go from here with my blogging. It feels like this might be the end, my dear flashback friends. Especially when I try to envision balancing a baby on my boob, while I burn the midnight oil to upload inane images like this one:
Which probably would look exactly like this . . .
. . . only, in my version, Mary is at her laptop searching for an obscure Billy Ocean video and screaming profanities.
But on the other hand, this blog means way too much to me to want to give it up.
Don’t give up on me just yet. Right now I’m mulling over the future of my writing — and pondering what things will look like down the road. Like whether my butt will stay this way. And how I hope he has hair this time — but not on his back.
And after all, even Twinkies are now making a comeback! Hip, hip, hooray!
And I heard this song on the radio just yesterday! And I didn’t even hate it!
Although, I was obviously wearing something like this at the time . . .
. . . so that probably skewed my thinking.
To be continued?
***
Childhood Relived 
Congrats! … and welcome back. :>
Thanks :) Although, I’m not sure I am in fact “back.” We shall see.
I hear that… trying to talk myself into 1 a day… we shall see about that, too. ;}
Wow, so very happy for you and the little guy !! =) As a mom of a 12 year old girl who dances around her room singing “It’s Raining Men” ( I know, I’m in running for Parent of the Year, right ?), I can attest to the fact that disco lives on in the heart of a new generation, and it doesn’t even make me crazy like it used to ! =) =)
Thank you! My 6-year-old would probably enjoy that dance number.
I`m with you Ang- loved the disco days. One of the BeeGees was a super fox.
Whassup, Emily. Since I was using disco as a metaphor for the impending end of my blog, I’m going to take your comment to mean that my blog is as good as hairy chests with gold chains. And I think Andy Gibb, the unofficial Bee Gee, was the superest fox of them all.
Nnnnnng!! You have no idea how excited I was to see you in my reader (okay, inbox – everyone knows the Reader makes me break out in hives, much like disco), and for your impending arrival! I’m happy you still have many months to let me help you pick out the perfect housecoat. I’ve never let pregnancy stand in the way of seeking just the right one.
As long as you keep sharing you/your writing with the world, in whatever format, I’ll be happy. We missed you!
Housecoats! I hear the quilted ones actually pull moisture away from you.
Just drop in anytime. We’ll be here. (and disco sucks).
Thanks, Nancy!
Congratulations! BABBIES! That is huge and awesome, and a great excuse to take a little break from blogging. However, if you want an excuse to get back in the swing of things, my friend and Ashley and I just started a weekly linkup where we take a walk down memory lane and reflect on past awkwardness, and we’d love for you to participate. Wait, did I just do a shameless plug in the comments of a pregnancy announcement? I think I may be sent to disco purgatory for that one too.
ANYHOO. Congratulations again! It’s wonderful to see you back, even if for a moment ;D
I would love to participate! You just described my perfect setup…writing and wallowing in flashback awkwardness without having to maintain a blog to do so! Hooray!
Disco purgatory…yikes, you just sent shivers down my spine. Or was that sweat from doing the Hustle just now?
Thanks for bringing your cute face over here, Emily.
Hey you!!
You should definitely keep the blog going even if it’s a post that says “#@$%$^$%$^^#” to express the ease of raising three young-uns. I will still read.
I’m considering keeping my blog up just to report on the varying shades of the new kid’s poop.
Oh, I’ve been thinking about you. So glad to see you here! So glad to hear your news! Congrats! That is exciting and wonderful. Even if WordPress has forgotten about you, we haven’t. You never know, with three kids, your format may change. ;)
Aw, thanks, Karen. WordPress will probably love the new format I have in mind. It consists of me posting images of Billy Ocean at 3:00 a.m. and cussing about the fact that I’m posting images of Billy Ocean at 3:00 a.m.
Disco will always be there for those if us who believe in lip glitter and turquoise eyeshadow.
Your blog is like that.
Fantastic each time we are allowed to remember.
It never gets old, babe.
So nurse that baby and do the Gymboree thing, but come back to this house from time to time to play that funky music, white girl.
We’ll be here.
Like Disco.
Because it never died, didn’t you hear?
Thanks, Renee! This comment made me feel almost as happy as I did when I wore my first pair of wooden-soled clogs.
Yes, always keep in mind Twinkies made a big comeback. Your blog is much like them– endless shelf life and addictive.
Also: please don’t leave us ever! You have the best blog out there!
And….I’m wearing the same orange and pink frock right now. It’s very comfortable and so versatile for those trips to Walmart.
I forgot to add something else: this individual was once entirely proper. This kind of put up in fact made the evening.
I hear the new Twinkies are a few ounces smaller. That hurts my heart.
That orange and pink frock looks better on me. I’m sorry, but you just don’t have the gumdrop-like Grimace physique to pull it off like me.
Okay, so, I totally share the sentiments of everyone else (congratulations; nice to see you; etc), but I have a purely academic question for you regarding disco:
If disco had never crossed over from the gay club scene, and to a lesser extent the black club scene, in to being so popular, would it be remembered as something different? Would we still regard it as all flash no substance and silly, or would hipsters be touting the deceptive, subversive genius of “It’s Rainin’ Men” and “I Feel Love”?
Discuss.
I’m glad you came to me with this intriguing question to explore. I can tell it’s been weighing on you. Hmmm. YMCA “boys’ choice night” aside, was it not Saturday Night Fever that first brought disco dancing to mainstream America? Let us not forget the rampant animal magnetism of a young, well-coiffed John Travolta. But let us do forget his white polyester suit. Actually, I think it was partly the accompanying dance floor fashions that drove the nail into disco’s coffin.
Congrats…on not cleaning the litter boxes. That’s the only time I ever got out of that task. It really is an incentive to stay knocked up.
Enjoy the journey!
Barefoot and pregnant has never sounded more appealing when you put it that way!
What’s with the question mark at the end of that “to be continued” question? (yeah, it looked just like that one) There better be some continuing going on because I’ve been Ang-jonesing something fierce for over 2 months. I need me some Angie. I got to HAVE me some Angie!
Congratulations on the tiny new human! Your huge butt, er, glow, is beautiful to behold!
And I loved disco and still do. Whoo, hoo!
You’re the best, Peg. And I so appreciate you not giving me the cold shoulder for no longer being with you in the WordPress “In” crowd.
Congratulations! Your faithful readers are relieved to know that you didn’t just spend that time off getting your nails done. No doubt your condition will generate all kinds of nostalgia, so it’s a good thing you have this blog so you can vent from time to time. (No telling what kinds of dire effects accumulated nostalgia might have on the developing person.) We’ll be here, eager to wallow with you in mind-numbing recollection of our lost youth.
Thanks bunches for the nice words, Jennifer. Researchers think flashbacks have no harm on a developing fetus, so long as they are never mixed with Pop Rocks.
Welcome back, Kotter! You’ve been missed, even if WordPress is a jerk about it.
And if you’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be cleaning cat boxes. Seriously. It’s bad for you. I totally rode that train for nine months, so I pass the wisdom so you can too. “No, honey, you have to clean the cat box for me. It’s bad for the baby.”
Thanks! I still think of myself as a Sweathog, though I’m afraid to admit I’m old enough now to be Kotter. And I think you misunderstood me — I am most definitely NOT cleaning the litterbox. In fact, I haven’t cleaned it since my first kid was born 6 years ago. Somehow I convinced my husband that I also couldn’t clean it while breastfeeding. And then I had a second kid, also breastfed, and then now I’m pregnant again. I guess what I’m saying is, if I have 5 more kids, can I avoid the litterbox forever?
Brilliant! That’s the only thing I really missed out on with only having one. Only nine months free from litterbox duty. *sigh*
Congrats! And it’s good to know that it was just a growing human inside your body that kept you away. I was starting to get worried that you had been snatched and were being held against your will by some creepster in his backyard in a tent. Wait . . . this baby isn’t HIS is it? Oh boy . . .
Well, either way, good luck with the incubation project and stop in from time to time to let us know you are still living in the world and don’t need some sort of rescue mission.
Thanks, Misty. Thanks for not giving up and keeping the candle lit in your window for me. And of course this isn’t some creepster’s baby…unless you consider Shaun Cassidy a creepster.
Congratulations!
Don’t give up on the blog yet! Your friends will be waiting. If you disappear for too long, I’ll have to send you Strawberry Shortcake’s other eye.
Truth be known, I’m partial to Strawberry’s less smelly friends. What do you have in the way of a Blueberry Muffin? Or I’ll also settle for a Moon Pie too.
Angie :-) cracking us up as usual with your crazy-fun snarky wit. Congrats on the pregnancy–big news for sure. sorry wordpress was ready to write you off so easily. They know not who they’re dealing with!
Great photos and captions–whoo hoo! Wishing you all the luck in the world and the blogosphere will wait. Take care of you and baby first.
Thank you, Liz. I feel like I’m running away before you and I had much time to delve more deeply into such important matters as Andrew McCarthy’s turn as a travel writer. I never even got to do my Pretty in Pink post. Such unfinished work I’m leaving here.
Another example of the failure of “Abstinence Only” sex education. Sigh. When will you young girls learn …
Seriously, I will echo the congratulations and hope that we can relive childhood with another generation. Even if we only hear from you on those days when you drug all 3 angels.
Xxx
Abstinence-only education…awesome. Oh Scarecrow, I’ll miss you the most. And I know you know all about medical drugs so do clue me in on which tranquilizers I can legally dispense to children.
Booze will be best! I still have your email address, I think …
I was wondering if I had just been missing your blogs for some reason. Thought perhaps you blocked me for fear of my getting out the red pen! ;) But I have to tell ya, no red marks on any of the entertaining, insightful blogs I’ve read. Glad to see you back, and we’ll take whatever wit you’ll throw us! And congratulations!
Your red pen is always welcomed, Ms. Hofmann! That same red pen of yours is probably why I obsessively hunt down all my you’re/your errors before I hit “publish.”
I’m not giving up on you yet. As for disco, well…. let’s just say I’m not investing in the polyester industry.
Thanks for staying with me, Tony. But I hear polyester now is made so well, so comfortable that you don’t even realize how ugly it still looks.
:D That’s a great reason for being away from blogging. It’s also a great reason to wear mu-mus and stretch pants (no need to explain to others why!). See? None of us would give up on you; the finger to WP for its misplaced loyalty. I’d rather lose WP than my core readership anyway, and you still got that, Girlie! Speaker7 may be onto something, though…
Congrats! And my best to you for an uneventful delivery of a perfect little person, with a temporarily cone-shaped head (to aid in such delivery). If your third is anything like mine, you’ll squat to pick up a toy, sneeze, and then Hey! Where’d that baby come from?
We’ll still be here when you’re fully sleep-deprived again, you know, to keep you sane.
Disco MAKES the Wii Just Dance discs. It just does. Especially with roller skates (not the in-line variety either).
Wow, how have I lived this long without Wii?
Thanks, Shannon. You are the wind beneath my wings — even though they are now broken and look more like the wings in Andy Gibb’s hair. Since you are one of the more unplugged people I know, I am counting on you to show me how to blog without really trying.
I would love to be the wings in your hair! As for blog-tending, I think it pretty safe to say that my 20-some-odd followers will still be there when I get back to blogging full-time (which is still only once per week). 5,000+? I’ll humbly leave those number tactics to the professionals.
PS — Estes Park is just dreamy. We’ll see if it’s even more so from the backs of equines on mountain trails. Ginny is in absolute heaven here. Sorry to have missed a DirtNKids snd ChildhoodRelived rendezvous! That would have been awesome. (BTW – I did meet another blogger last month. Wrote about it!)
congratulations on your pregnancy. Please keep blogging…I love your sense of humor! And it has been 50 years since I was a “cool kid”. We’ll be here when you return. I promise.
Thanks so much for the kind words, Shelley!
If anyone can make the Mrs. Roper look work, (other than Audra Lindley) you can! :)
I think I need the orange curly ‘fro to pull it off like Audra did. A hairdo like that sort of off-sets the hot mess happening down below.
My older brother and all of his “cool” friends had Disco Sucks shirts so I would only listen to my Donna Summers album in my bedroom when he wasn’t home. I think Disco is due for a comeback…like your blog. Congrats on the pregnancy and don’t let the name of my blog scare you. Parenting only sucks a little and not really until they are teenagers. :-)
I confess I have two other kids, so I already know it sucks sometimes — thanks for trying to hide that fact from me though ;)
Great memory — I would love to get my hands on an old Disco Sucks shirt today.
As long as you keep writing and posting your fun childhood articles, and continue sending me those cash stipends, I promise you I will always be a loyal follower. Of your blog, that is.
Todd, I am waiting for my Publishers Clearing House check to come (but, alas, Ed McMahon died and will likely not arrive on my doorstep with balloons anytime soon) and then I can pay you those fees I owe you for your comments.
Noted and understood, Angie. I will begin preparations to resurrect Mr. McMahon and his deflated balloons ASAP.
Hey– belated congratulations, Angie! I freaking love disco, but I credit that to being born in the 80s. If I was a 70s baby, I’d probably know better. :)
Thanks, Dana. I think I was dropped on my head as a baby. Disco was playing in the background at the time and somehow I decided it didn’t sound like alley cats in heat outside.
Pregnancy is a good excuse. Pregnancy kicked my butt once. Man, 5 years later and I’m still completely over it! I hope you will stick around, though!
Thank you for stopping by, Nicki! I will stick around in some form, maybe not by managing a blog however. And when you’re famous, I’ll tell the world that I’m obviously your number one fan since I still remember your cat’s name was Punzy.
Woohoo! Congrats!
Ok, so here’s the thing. This is the first time I’ve visited your blog and I kinda loved it so if I can weigh in -and I’m a perfect stranger so my vote should be counted heavily- you should keep writing. Kids will only give you more material.
Aw, gee. Thanks! I do appreciate you jumping aboard my sinking ship here :) I will promise to keep writing if you promise to manage my blog for me. How do you feel about unpaid internships?
Bad. I feel bad about them. :)
Angie! Good to hear from you after so long!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Get plenty of rest, eat well, blast disco music near your belly every day to get baby acquainted, yell and scream at anybody who irritates you (hey! You’re pregnant and hormonal! Why not?!) and try not to throw up all over everything! Woo hoo! Pregnancy ROCKS! ;)
So glad to be able to visit your blog and ring its halls with laughter again! :)
Thanks, Ms. Jolly. Always a pleasure to see you stop by.
I had wondered where you were, then I saw Miss Maineac’s post and was like oh yeah I didn’t read her last post somehow and then I find out Babiezzz? Yay it’s not me! I mean, good for you!!! I love babiezz except for the puking and pooping business. Fortunately, I still get to deal with that some even with the 12 and 9 year olds. Parenting is so much fun! Seriously, it is exciting to bring a new one home. Maybe this one will not only have hair, it will have Don King hair just like my youngest did. She had a ton and it was black and it stuck straight up. I also considered calling her Joan Jett.
I don’t know if you noticed, but I referenced you because I believe you mentioning the Monchhichi or whatever that little demon is called somehow brought one to my house. We now call it the armpit goblin and the youngest wrote a story about it and my mother wanted to know what she was talking about when she mentioned “warm armpits.” No idea, Mom. Good luck with baby – be sure and get him one of those monkey things!
Fruity Pebbles, Twinkies, and babies all in the same post? You and me—we’re gonna be like peas and carrots. I hope you like peas and carrots. Chocolate syrup and ice cream? Don’t stop blogging!
Welcome back-ish!
Welcome back, even though I didn’t know you were gone, because I just found you! Thanks for visiting my blog so I could discover your voice. Look forward to hearing more. Gail
Great! Thanks for reading, Gail!
I love your blog! Though the clothing style in that YouTube video is quite hideous in my opinion… :D But maybe that’s because I’m a 90’s child!
Boarded up and newspapers piling up for sure! I’m sure I’m not the only one wondering where the heck you went. Wherever it is, I hope there are rainbow stickers and My Little Ponies to keep you company. Cheers, my bloggy friend! There are no other 80’s Divas to fill your jelly shoes. NO ONE.
Aw, thanks, Shannon! New blog in the works. Details in 2015… xo